A number of people are moving from rural area to city’s. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#people #area #city’s #development

Nowadays, Urbanization has become spread all around the world. As far as I’m concerned,

this

phenomenon has several drawbacks which I will discuss in the following paragraphs. First of all, migration of

people

from rural areas to metropolitan

cities

will cause enormous overpopulation which lead to more

traffics

Correct subject-verb agreement

traffic

show examples

both in the streets and subways

all days

Fix the agreement mistake

every day

show examples

and in the

end

Add a comma

end,

show examples

this

issue will cause lots of

pollution

such

as air

pollution

and noise

pollution

For example

, here in

Tehran

thousands of

people

migrate from their home town to

Tehran

and

Tehran

Change noun form

Tehran's

show examples

population has been increased for 10 years and there are lots of problems which are more traffic and

pollution

Moreover

people

suffer from anxiety, stress and headaches which originated from overpopulation.

Furthermore

, limitation in job opportunities is another disadvantage caused by urbanization.

People

who come to big

cities

such

Tehran

have a main purpose which is to find any job with a relatively low salary.

Therefore

, employers tend to hire

this

person

instead

of a person who

leaves

Verb problem

lives

show examples

in the capital and

demand

Correct subject-verb agreement

demands

show examples

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a high salary.

For instance

, in

Tehran

due to

high inflation which is caused by

sanctions

Add a comma

sanctions,

show examples

employers prefer to employ

employee

Fix the agreement mistake

employees

show examples

with low

wage

Fix the agreement mistake

wages

show examples

which is caused by improper economic situations. In conclusion, migration to metropolitan

cities

has been an issue for the

people

who live in

cities

in recent years and will deteriorate the

people

’s life quality.

Submitted by khashayarpartovi on Fri Apr 12 2024

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Grammar & Sentence Structure

To improve your score further, aim to avoid minor grammatical errors and work on varying your sentence structure to enhance the sophistication of your writing.

Vocabulary & Specificity

Consider expanding your arguments with a wider range of vocabulary specific to the topic of urbanization and its impacts. This could help make your points more vivid and persuasive.

Argument Development

Include a balanced perspective or briefly mention potential positive aspects of urbanization alongside the negatives. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Structure & Coherence

You provided a clear structure with a proper introduction, developed paragraphs discussing different issues, and a summarizing conclusion, which helped in creating a coherent argument.

Task Response & Examples

Your essay effectively addresses the task, presenting a well-reasoned argument on the negative aspects of urbanization with relevant examples, particularly the case study of Tehran.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

234 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

urban migration
overcrowding
intellectual growth
strain on resources
economic growth
innovation
rural depopulation
agricultural sectors
job opportunities
improved living conditions
community
cost of living
quality of life
wellbeing
traditional lifestyles

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A number of people are moving from rural area to city’s. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Word Count

Now a days, Many People have to work longer hours, and then feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons for stress at the workplace? What can employer do to make their employee's life easier?

Some people think that tha government is wasting money on tha art and that this money could be better spend elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity do the advantage of this is outweight the disadvantages

Some poeple say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?

Some people think that getting degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job, while others believe that it would be better go straight into work and get experience. Discus both sides and give your opinion.