The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country betweeen 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the mian feartures, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country betweeen 2011 and 2018. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the mian feartures, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the number of
shops
over
7-year
Add an article
a 7-year
show examples
period.
Overall
,
it is clear that
the number of
shops
in 7 years decreased or downtrend. At the beginning of the year, shop openings accounted for 8,500
while
closures were approximately only 6,400. In 2012, the number of opening
shops
decreased significantly around 50% from the beginning
while
closure
shops
only slightly decreased by almost 400.
Moreover
, from 2012 to 2014, both of them
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased and almost similar amount. Looking at the figures,
shops
that will be open for only around 700 in 2015 and
this
was a significant change and reached the bottom for along the periods. Following that, it was increased 5 times in 2016 and only slightly changed until the end of the period. Closing
shops
decreased around 30% from 2014 to 2015 and remained the same until 2017.
At the end
of the period, only 3,000
shops
were closed.
Submitted by rezaf.permadi on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words shops with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Trend analysis
  • Fluctuation
  • Shop closures
  • Retail openings
  • Economic conditions
  • Consumer behavior
  • Local economy
  • Business dynamics
  • Commercial landscape
  • Statistical comparison
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Year-on-year comparison
  • Consumer trends
  • Market forces
  • Business cycle
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