The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country betweeen 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the mian feartures, and make comparisons where relevant.

#shops #country #betweeen #summarise #information #mian #feartures #comparisons

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The line graph illustrates the change

Change preposition

show examples

the number of

shops

Use synonyms

over

7-year

Add an article

a 7-year

show examples

period.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

the number of

shops

Use synonyms

in 7 years decreased or downtrend. At the beginning of the year, shop openings accounted for 8,500

while

Linking Words

closures were approximately only 6,400. In 2012, the number of opening

shops

Use synonyms

decreased significantly around 50% from the beginning

while

Linking Words

closure

shops

Use synonyms

only slightly decreased by almost 400.

Moreover

Linking Words

, from 2012 to 2014, both of them

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

increased and almost similar amount. Looking at the figures,

shops

Use synonyms

that will be open for only around 700 in 2015 and

this

Linking Words

was a significant change and reached the bottom for along the periods. Following that, it was increased 5 times in 2016 and only slightly changed until the end of the period. Closing

shops

Use synonyms

decreased around 30% from 2014 to 2015 and remained the same until 2017.

At the end

Linking Words

of the period, only 3,000

shops

Use synonyms

were closed.

Submitted by rezaf.permadi on Fri Apr 12 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words shops with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

157 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Trend analysis
Fluctuation
Shop closures
Retail openings
Economic conditions
Consumer behavior
Local economy
Business dynamics
Commercial landscape
Statistical comparison
Significant increase/decrease
Year-on-year comparison
Consumer trends
Market forces
Business cycle

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The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country betweeen 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the mian feartures, and make comparisons where relevant.

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

13/05 Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Q. Some people say that web content should be used to instruct children. Others think that it is not helpful in an educational setting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.