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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

In some counties an increasing number of people are suffering from health promblems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

#counties #people #health #promblems #food #governments #tax
Due to
 the rapid growth of technology, the world has come a long way. In the past few years , the lifestyle of the people has changed a lot . In the midst of change, The amount of fast-food consumption has been increasing at an alarming rate.
This
 assertion seems pretty serious across the globe . A colossal number of people address that it's very crucial to spread the consequences of having fast food
moreover
 they
also
 believe the government should increase the tax on
this
 kind of food . Somewhere vehemently I Accord with the notion . In the succeeding monograph, I intend to delve into the matter
as well as
 proffer examples to justify my assertion .
Submitted by shyamal017 on

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Task Response
To improve your score, make sure your essay fully addresses the prompt by offering a clear stance on the issue and providing comprehensive examples that support your opinion. It is crucial to develop your argument further beyond the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and logically connected sentences. Transition words can help the flow between ideas.
Introduction
You have an engaging opening that sets the context for your topic.
Insight
You show an understanding of the importance of discussing the consequences of fast food consumption.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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