IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.
#information #families #country #income
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The bar chart illustrates data about the percentage of families that spent their weekly income in one country between 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the graph is that the type of spending in 1968 and 2018 was quite different.
The food
Correct article usage
Food
show examples
 in 1968 was the top spending
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each week
while
Linking Words
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Leisure in 2018 was the highest of expenses.
However
Linking Words
, The fuel and power in 1968 were as low as in 2018.
According to
Linking Words
 1986, food was the peak of spending in families
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 35% which was very different from other consumption.
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
housing, Clothing and footwear were similar the number
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
spent approximately 10%
while
Linking Words
 the household goods, personal goods and transport, there were equal
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
show examples
just
Change preposition
of just
show examples
 under 10%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the fuel and power
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the lowest
overall
Linking Words
.
In addition
Linking Words
, in 2018, leisure
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 a peak of just over 20% and close to housing had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 percentage of
spent
Verb problem
apply
show examples
18%.
While
Linking Words
 the proportion of food and transport was nearly 15%.
However
Linking Words
,
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
 expenses were similar at around 10%.
Submitted by name79sinlapa on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, overall, while".
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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