With an increasing number of people eating fast food,which if eating too regularly can cause health issues,some people think that the only solution is to ban it completely. To what extent do you agree?
In
this
contemporary world, junk foods
are playing a pivotal role. It says that the proliferation of fast food in daily life can cause health-related problems whereas
, some people believe that the only remedy is to forbid it.
I agree with this
statement and the reasons are mentioned below in the following paragraphs.
First and foremost, with the over usage of processed food people suffer from obesity and other health issues such
as asthma, cardiac and lung vandalism. Nowadays, everyone is busy in their job sector with different scheduled times and chooses effortless ways. Online applications such
as Skip the Dishes and Ubereats help them to get the proud foods
in their own hands. Research in American
Correct article usage
the American
Üniversitey
of Correct your spelling
University
Coulmbia
stated that around 95% of the population in America is living on convenience Correct your spelling
Columbia
foods
.
Secondly
, even younger generations in the workplace feel a lack of energy because of the high occupancy in fast food. To illustrate, youth between 14-25 ages suffer diseases like diarrhoea, cancer and eating disorders. Junk foods
are so addictive and the salt, sugar and seasonings make them more attractive . Thus
it results in cardiac arrest in young kids. For instance
, it has been trending in many countries juveniles are undergoing cardiac arrests.
In short, Although
processed foods
are unchallenging and affordable these days, it is important to ensure future health and maintain a balanced diet.Submitted by athulyaraj0011 on
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Grammar & Spelling
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical and spelling mistakes. For instance, 'proud foods' likely was intended to be 'profound foods', and 'Üniversitey of Coulmbia' should be 'University of Columbia'. These minor errors, though not substantially detracting from the message, can make your argument seem less polished.
Argument Depth
Providing a contrasting paragraph about possible negative effects of completely banning fast food, such as economic impacts or challenges in enforcing such bans, could give your argument more depth and present a more balanced view.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider using a wider variety of cohesive devices and transition words to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This enhances readability and makes your essay more engaging.
Balanced Argument
Explore both sides of the argument more explicitly before concluding to strengthen your essay's persuasive power. Acknowledging counterarguments can make your position seem more reasoned and measured.
Examples
You have effectively used examples to support your main points, which makes your argument convincing. Mentioning research from the 'University of Columbia' and examples involving youths are strong supports for your argument.
Structure
Your introduction fluently sets the stage for the discussion, and your conclusion succinctly summarizes the key points, effectively bookending your essay.
Task Response
Your clear stance throughout the essay provides a strong sense of direction, ensuring that readers understand your position.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.