The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives

it is debatable

that

Correct word choice

whether

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the improvement of people's lives is

paramount

Add an article

the paramount

a paramount

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goal of

science

or not.

Therefore

, in

this

essay, I will elaborate

this

Change preposition

on this

show examples

point of view

whether

Change preposition

on whether

show examples

the extent is correct.

Firstly

, individuals inevitably face numerous problems

during

Change preposition

show examples

life

and solutions are required to manage the situation. The usage of

science

is the most convenient way to solve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

problems;

moreover

, by carrying out

scientific

Add an article

the scientific

a scientific

show examples

experiment

Fix the agreement mistake

experiments

show examples

scientist

Fix the agreement mistake

scientists

show examples

reach

Change preposition

apply

show examples

valuable

Add an article

a valuable

the valuable

show examples

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

which

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

to accessing some data capable of improving day-to-day

life

For instance

, air pollution has become a massive matter for humans

which

Correct word choice

and

show examples

Scientifics

Correct your spelling

scientists

have been engaged for some

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

to solve

this

problem.

As a result

, the ones find various ways

such

as using

Add an article

the engine

an engine

show examples

engine

Fix the agreement mistake

engines

show examples

to work

Change preposition

with

show examples

electric

Replace the word

electricity

show examples

rather than fossil fuels. All of these measures lead to achieve massive

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

which

enhancing

Wrong verb form

enhance

show examples

the quality of

life

. Since the

tranquility

Change the spelling

tranquillity

show examples

of humans is

paramount

Change preposition

of paramount

show examples

importance, it is understandable that the ultimate goal of

science

would have to be related to their lives;

however

, other factors are

also

of high importance; most notably wildlife and its species. One particular problem that catches the attention is the extinction of different animal groups leading to the decrease of biodiversity.

This

matter should not be dismissed as nature is a vast source of data for reaching higher levels of knowledge and

science

should be used to handle

this

problem. In conclusion, as important as the improvement of daily

life

is, certain matters

such

as the safety of other living beings should not be overlooked, for they have a noticeable effect on the quality of

life

Submitted by mrhoshangi87 on Sat Apr 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and demonstrate linguistic variety.

coherence cohesion

Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to smoothly connect ideas and paragraphs, thus improving the cohesion of your essay.

task achievement

While your examples are relevant, try to provide more detailed and specific examples to further strengthen your argument and make it more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Be careful with minor grammatical errors and typos that can distract from your overall message. Proofreading can help to reduce these.

coherence cohesion

You provided a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively framed your argument.

task achievement

Your essay successfully addresses the prompt, presenting a balanced view on the importance of science in improving people's lives while also considering the importance of wildlife conservation.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your arguments is commendable, making your essay easy to follow and understand.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial role
technological advancements
medical discoveries
life-changing inventions
innovations
solutions to human problems
enhancing quality of life
improvement of healthcare
transportation
communication
agriculture
energy sectors
eradication of diseases
prolongation of life expectancy
global challenges
climate change
overpopulation
food security
developed world
underprivileged communities

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The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the citizens. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Write a letter to the hotel making the arrangements. Let them know when you will be arriving and leaving, what type of rooms you would like, and ask them how much the weekend will cost. Also enquire about activities and places of interest near the hotel.

Some people think a job not only provides income but also social life. Others think it is better to develop social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both views and give your opinion