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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that schools should invest more money in technology, such as more computers, while others think more money should be spent on teachers. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #schools #money #technology #computers #teachers
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In today’s digital age, the debate over whether schools should invest more in
technology
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 or in
teachers
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 has become increasingly prominent.
Both
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 sides have valid arguments, but in my opinion, a balance of
both
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 is essential for the holistic development of
students
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. Proponents of investing in more
technology
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 argue that it is crucial for preparing
students
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 for the future workforce, as
technology
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 is an integral part of modern society. They believe that providing access to more computers and digital resources can enhance
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students’
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student’s
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 learning experiences and better equip them for the digital world.
Additionally
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,
technology
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 can
also
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 facilitate personalized learning and help
students
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 develop essential digital literacy skills.
On the other hand
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, advocates for investing in
teachers
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 argue that the quality of education largely depends on the expertise and dedication of educators. They emphasize that hiring and retaining qualified
teachers
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, providing them with ongoing professional development, and reducing class sizes can significantly improve the
overall
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 quality of education. Good
teachers
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 have the ability to inspire, motivate, and guide
students
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, which cannot be replaced by
technology
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. In my view,
both
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technology
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 and
teachers
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 play crucial roles in education, and
therefore
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, a balanced approach is necessary.
While
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technology
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 can enhance the learning process and provide access to a wealth of information, it should complement the guidance and mentorship provided by
teachers
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. Investing in professional development for
teachers
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 and creating a supportive working environment can lead to better student outcomes and a more fulfilling educational experience. In conclusion,
while
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 some argue for more investment in
technology
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 and others advocate for more spending on
teachers
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, a balanced approach that considers the benefits of
both
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 is essential. Ultimately, the goal should be to create a learning environment that utilizes
technology
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 effectively
while
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also
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 nurturing the talents and potential of
students
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 through the guidance of dedicated and skilled
teachers
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.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

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Example Detail
Consider giving more specific examples to illustrate your points further. Real-world examples or case studies can reinforce your argument and make your essay more compelling.
Analytical Depth
Try to include a comparison or contrast in your discussion to provide a deeper analysis of the two views. This could enrich your essay and show a higher level of critical thinking.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by acknowledging the importance of both technology and teachers in the modern educational environment.
Balance
The balance between discussing technology and teachers shows a well-considered approach, acknowledging the importance of both elements in education.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points and reiterates your balanced viewpoint, providing a clear stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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