After graduation, many students take a year to travel. Some think that it would be more useful to work for a year. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
When students finish their school studies, a large number of them consider a year for travelling,
although
, some of the population believe that might be more beneficial if scholars spend their gap year in job positions. I generally believe it is Linking Words
positive
development because provides an opportunity for the youth to develop their personality and figure out about their surroundings.
Add an article
a positive
To begin
with, travelling is a time that humans could spend on their own and focus on their traits, because, they have to treat new situations that they have never experienced before. These new challenges led that young group of citizens to think about their behaviours and increase their personal statesLinking Words
,
because if they did not act ethically, they would be rejected by their new society. Remove the comma
apply
For instance
, if a youth enters a new location and does not respect their rules he/she will be alone over that period because their loved ones are not there to support. Linking Words
As a result
, they gradually learn how to act better and be accepted by their community.
Linking Words
Moreover
, going through distant areas provides a chance to figure out new locations , Linking Words
in addition
, it will broaden their horizon because they can observe and think about new locations. Linking Words
For example
, all of us have seen a significant number of photos that were taken by photographers but we have never experienced those areas and we can not feel a bond to them because photos are just a small sample of the real world. Linking Words
This
opportunity is really valuable because as we grow up we have more responsibilities to tackle and I think, it is better to consider the value of being young and use it in the best way.
Linking Words
Lastly
, there are some people who think that it is better to focus on practical activities, Linking Words
however
, I think our lives will not provide Linking Words
this
opportunity to fulfil our lives in the best way Linking Words
also
we can work and spend time later when we grow up but travelling is a rare offer so it is beneficial to use it at the time when is possible.
In conclusion, a group of students take a year's gap and spend it Linking Words
while
travelling, and some believe is not positive and they should work, Linking Words
nonetheless
, in my opinion, travelling has a major number of advantageous impacts ,Linking Words
such
as personal development and experiencing unknown , Linking Words
also
the population can work for their entire lives but go through areas is rare to offer and we have to consider its value.Linking Words
Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on
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task achievement
Try to provide more precise examples to strengthen your arguments. While you've touched upon hypothetical situations and general benefits of travel, real-world examples or statistics could make your points more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures more effectively to improve readability. This involves balancing simple and complex sentences to capture the reader's attention throughout.
coherence cohesion
Consider proofreading your essay to correct small grammatical errors and improve sentence clarity. This will help in presenting your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
You've made a clear stance on the topic, providing a strong thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow, with each paragraph building on the idea introduced in the previous one.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, effectively framing your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.