31.Some people say that too much time and resource are spent on the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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While
some may argue that excess time and funds are spent safeguarding wild
animals
and
birds
I firmly believe that
this
is a crucial endeavour for our society. There are a lot of benefits
for
Change preposition
to
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spending our resources
for
Change preposition
on
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wildlife.
Firstly
wild
animals
and
birds
are
also
life forms and have their right to live in
this
world protected.
This
is because our ancestors have come from the great apes who used to survive in the jungles.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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wild
animals
play a crucial role in maintaining
biodiversity
Add an article
the biodiversity
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of nature.Wild
animals
are
also
important as they are part of the food chain many
a
Correct article usage
apply
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plants and animal species are maintained in equilibrium because each species is linked to the other in different ways.
Forexample
Correct your spelling
For example
if the population of wild cattle increases exponentially
then
it would destroy the flora of the region as being herbivores they may take to indiscriminate feeding of plants,
this
is kept under check by wild
animals
such
as tigers,lions and other carnivores.
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
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wild
animals
also
maintain the agriculture industry as they support farming.As various studies have shown
birds
are essential for pollenising plants for their cultivation.
This
is significant essentially because without them the agricultural output would decrease which may result in global hunger. Wild
animals
and
birds
also
play a major role in maintaining forests as they help increase the fauna by pollination resulting in increased forest cover of our planet which halts
the
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apply
show examples
global warming and
replenish
Correct subject-verb agreement
replenishes
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the atmosphere of its oxygen. Another important reason for protecting them is the indiscriminate poaching
that is
pushing many of the wildlife to extinction.Already many wild
animals
and
birds
have become extinct
due to
widespread poaching by illegal hunters who hunt them for their horns,skin,teeth etc.It is important to remember the idea of sustainable existence where
current
Correct article usage
the current
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population should be aware of living minimally without destroying the
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
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which has been mentioned in the United Nations resolutions as well.
To conclude
,wild
animals
and
birds
play a pivotal role through various means in maintaining all the life forms
in
Change preposition
on
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our planet and
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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care should be of utmost importance to mankind.
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task achievement
Expand on examples with specific case studies or statistics to strengthen your argument and make it more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider variety of linking phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
language accuracy
Review the use of articles (a, an, the) and prepositions (in, on, at) for minor accuracy improvements.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic, providing a clear position and thorough discussion of the relevance and importance of wildlife protection.
coherence and cohesion
The logical flow and structure of your essay are commendable, making your argument easy to follow and understand.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, effectively framing your argument and summarizing the key points.

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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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