IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the Internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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In today's modern society, most
information
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 and
knowledge
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 are easily found on the
internet
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. It is truly much more convenient compared to paper-based sources.
However
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, the
overall
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 impact has been tremendously negative. Admittedly, the benefits of storing lessons and documents on the website are in plain sight. Through websites
such
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 as Google or Chrome, people can access a wide range of
information
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 which is totally time-saving compared to finding it in a book because they can receive
knowledge
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 whenever and wherever they want .
Furthermore
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,
instead
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 of buying a book which costs at least 20$,
users
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 can use the
internet
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 to look for desired
contents
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content
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within
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with
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 a fingertip at no cost.
In addition
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, online
information
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 offers
users
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 different platforms from video to audio with vivid visualizations for
users
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 about the
information
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 that they are looking for. Most younger generations nowadays,
for instance
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, prefer learning through social media
such
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 as short videos on
Tiktok
Correct your spelling
TikTok
show examples
 or Youtube which they find attractive and have a lot of choices. Despite the advantages mentioned above, the drawbacks of the trend towards storing
knowledge
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 on the
Internet
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 are more significant.On an individual level,
while
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 online storage is easy to access, it makes
users
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 confused by tons of different sources.
Moreover
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, online
information
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 is not under the control of authorities and might not be verified by professionals which leads to a lot of people consuming incorrect content if they do not select an authentic page.
For example
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, a person calling himself
doctor
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a doctor
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 on Tiktok
,
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apply
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 told pregnant women that it is
alright
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all right
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 for them to use vitamin A during their pregnancy.
However
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,
this
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information
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 is definitely wrong because
according to
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 scientists, mothers consuming a large amount of vitamin A in pregnancy will lead to several health risks for
new born
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newborn
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 babies. If searching for
information
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 on the
internet
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 ,
users
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 have to carefully select
legit
Correct word choice
legitimate
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 sources to avoid undesirable risks in the future.On business levels,
internet
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-based
information
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 has paved the way for the boom of copyright infringement which dramatically affects the publishing company. Many websites have provided
low cost
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low-cost
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 books or even free books for their customers to earn their own benefits.
Such
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 illegal distributions are difficult to control and make publishing
company
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companies
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 lose millions of dollars every year. In conclusion,
while
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 there are some advantages of using the
internet
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 for searching
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information
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for information
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such
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 as
convenient
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convenience
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 and cheap, these are outstripped by the
negative
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negatives
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 including inaccurate
knowledge
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 and copyright problems.

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, transition phrases can be more varied to enhance the fluidity between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Consider adding a counter-argument paragraph to fully explore both sides of the argument, which can further enrich the task response.
general
Ensure to proofread for minor grammatical inaccuracies that slightly hinder the readability of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay effectively covers the prompt, demonstrating a clear understanding of the task.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your main points, which strengthened the argument.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, is commendable.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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