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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000
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The line graph depicts the difference in
consumption
Use synonyms
 of hamburgers,
pizza
Use synonyms
, and fried
chicken
Use synonyms
 by young people in Mauritius in a 30-
year
Use synonyms
period
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, starting from 1985.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
pizza
Use synonyms
 experienced a downward trend ,
while
Linking Words
 the amount of
pizza
Use synonyms
 and fried
chicken
Use synonyms
 consumed drastically increased over the provided
period
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
, in 1985,
pizza
Use synonyms
 was the most popular food with the highest number of
times
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 eaten per
year
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 roughly 60
times
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. The
consumption
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 dropped rapidly
throughout
Change preposition
over
show examples
 30 years, finishing at about 10
times
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
, in 2015.
Conversely
Linking Words
, fried
chicken
Use synonyms
 was the least popular food, starting at approximately 10
times
Use synonyms
 per
year
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. After that, the
consumption
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 of fried
chicken
Use synonyms
 grew slowly until 1995, with 20
times
Use synonyms
 eaten per
year
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, the trend dramatically
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 between 1995 to 2005, reaching 60
times
Use synonyms
 eaten per
year
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, and remained steady until 2010. It showed a small growth in the
last
Linking Words
 five years to
finished
Change the form of the verb
finish
show examples
 at around 64
times
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, hamburgers
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
which started
show examples
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 at 10
times
Use synonyms
, saw a sharp increase over the
period
Use synonyms
, reaching
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 peak at roughly 71
times
Use synonyms
, making it the most consumed food over the given
period
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, pizza, chicken, period, times, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumption
  • Trend
  • Hamburgers
  • Pizza
  • Fried chicken
  • Period
  • Health awareness
  • Availability
  • Taste preferences
  • Marketing influence
  • Implications
  • Western culture
  • Peak periods
  • Promotions
  • Societal habits
  • Patterns
  • Popular
  • Declined
  • Introduction
  • Eating habits
  • Summarise
  • Prediction
  • Recommendations
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