Advertising aimed at children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Advertisements
have become ubiquitous in daily life in society. Every corner around people live there will be some advertisement. It is not only for adult purposes
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
for
children
. Some people argue that
advertisements
for
children
should be banned.
This
essay delves into disagreements about that argument and personal beliefs about it.
To begin
, advertising is universal. Every company has the right to sell their products and advertise them. The audience is not only
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adults
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
children
.
This
means advertising is
also
part of human rights. We can not prohibit companies
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
do
Verb problem
exercising
show examples
their own rights.
Moreover
, some scholars
study
advertisements
for
children
in Communication Science. To be specific, some vocational programs in universities
also
study
Advertisement Science. They
study
how to engage underage audiences, and how to deliver messages for kids.
Therefore
, advertising has scientific issues inside.
Furthermore
,
advertisements
for
children
are not always negative. There are
also
many useful
advertisements
for
children
. Many
children
get benefits from kid’s
advertisements
, especially for educational purposes. They become well-educated because of
advertisements
. Some companies put general knowledge inside their advertising, so that every audience, including
children
, will be knowledgeable.
For instance
, a bookstore gives an advertisement about
story books
Correct your spelling
storybooks
show examples
for kids. It
also
gives some illustrations about the story and the wisdom inside. In conclusion, I strongly disagree that
advertisements
for
children
should be prohibited for some reasons. Notably, there is
also
some
study
about
advertisements
for
children
, and indeed, there are still advantages for our
children
to get some knowledge from
advertisements
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion to improve coherence.
examples
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments, which will help in achieving a higher score in task response.
linking
Try to link your paragraphs and ideas more smoothly to enhance the flow of your essay, improving cohesion.
clarity
Be more explicit in addressing the prompt directly. Clearly stating your opinion at the beginning and restating it in the conclusion can make your stance clearer to the reader.
structure
Introduction and conclusion present and addressing the topic.
content
Logical structure and supported main points throughout the essay.
argument
Bringing in the aspect of rights and educational benefits provides a good argumentative balance.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!