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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You are living in a University residence and you have a problem with the night levels of noise from a new compuse restaurant which is open late at night write a letter to the governor of the University. -Complain about the situation -Say why this is a problem -And propose ways to reduce the noise

#university #residence #night #levels #noise #compuse #restaurant #governor #-complain #situation #-say #-and
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to you, I tell you about
noise
Correct article usage
the noise
show examples
.
This
 is
noise
Add an article
the noise
show examples
 my study settle. So
this
 is
problem
Add an article
a problem
show examples
 ask solution and
this
 is well everybody. I hope
a
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
 understand to you.
This
noise
 destroys every evening. We are not doing
study
Add an article
the study
a study
show examples
. We would appreciate it if you could solve
this
problem
. We can not even rest well at night
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 of
this
noise
.
Last
 week was my exam and I got a low grade
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 I did not prepare well for the exam. We have told you about
this
problem
 before. But you did not pay attention to that.
This
problem
 can become serious.
That is
 why I think it should be avoided. I think your one big
problem
 is that
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 restaurant is located near our University. I think you should schedule your work time
we
Correct word choice
so we
show examples
 can play music during class it
wonʼt
Verb problem
wo
show examples
 bother us. But in the evening when we came back from class, you turned the volume down a little, which was
bot
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 acceptable to us. And that would be good for you and us. Yours faithfully, Sadinova Feruza
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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coherence cohesion
Try to provide a clear introduction, body, and conclusion to improve the logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs to separate different ideas for better understanding.
coherence cohesion
Include a more formal greeting and closing to enhance the professional tone of your letter.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea or complaint to make your letter easier to follow.
task achievement
Clearly state the problem, explain why it's an issue, and suggest specific solutions for a more complete response.
task achievement
Use a more formal and polite tone throughout your letter to maintain appropriateness.
task achievement
You've effectively communicated the main issue and proposed a solution.
task achievement
The personal impact of the noise was well described, highlighting the seriousness of the situation.
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