Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Beacause
Correct your spelling
Because
of the effect of history, many countries have their own old
buildings
and keep looking after them to ensure they are still in good condition.
However
, some
people
think
that is
a waste of time and money. To some degree, it is true. Many will think
instead
of
protect
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protecting
show examples
those ancient
buildings
,
government
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the government
show examples
needs to
spent
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spend
show examples
more tax revenue to improve infrastructure, national defense and many other things
that
is
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are
show examples
directly related to common
people
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. That will greatly improve
people
's living
standard
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standards
show examples
, which may lead to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great economic growth.
Besides
, as
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
keep growing, more and more
people
have no place to live.
Couldn't
Wrong verb form
Can't
show examples
afford the high price of
house
Add an article
the house
a house
show examples
, the poor may have to sleep on the street. If we knock down those
buildings
, maybe there not only will be more places to live, but
also
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
create more jobs for those unemployed.
However
, we can't always solve these living issues by
destroy
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destroying
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old
buildings
. Historic
buildings
have a lot of cultural values, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
inmesurable
Correct your spelling
immeasurable
. Modern artists and engineers still can learn a lot from
these ancient structure
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this ancient structure
these ancient structures
show examples
,
then
Correct word choice
and then
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create
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
Moreover
, as the symbol of a nation's culture, we have no
reasons
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reason
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to destroy all of those
due to
our patriotism.
In addition
, tourism will
full
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be full
show examples
of gratitude if governments decide to let these
beatiful
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beautiful
miracle
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miracles
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remain. Foreign tourists always love other
coutries'
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countries'
special
culture
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cultures
show examples
. Different kind of architecture can deeply
atract
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attract
their attention and money for tickets.
Due to
that, government can receive more revenue, and the nation can
growing
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grow
show examples
more quickly. Certainly, it is necessary to move some resources to improve infrastructure, but not all of them. Ancient
buildings
represent the wisdom of our ancestors. We need to protect them well so that all of our
human
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humans
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can share these
cultrual
Correct your spelling
cultural
wealth. So in
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
I'm not completely disagree
Change the verb form
I do not completely disagree
show examples
.
Submitted by pitaleung8 on

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Tone and Style
Be mindful of maintaining a formal tone throughout your essay. Avoid using colloquial language or contractions ('couldn't', 'government needs to spent') to maintain academic formality.
Grammar
Pay attention to your grammatical structures and verb tenses to ensure accuracy and clarity. Errors like 'government needs to spent' should be corrected to 'government needs to spend'.
Sentence Variety
Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay. While your essay has a good structure, more complex sentences could further improve its coherence.
Support and Development
Develop your paragraphs with more supporting details and examples. Though you have provided reasons and consequences, elaborating with specific examples or data can strengthen your argument and task achievement score.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic, presenting both sides of the argument and concluding with a personal opinion, demonstrating good task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay effectively and aids in its overall coherence.
Structure
Your essay is well-structured with a logical progression of ideas, contributing to its coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Preservation
  • Restoration
  • Demolition
  • Architectural heritage
  • Cultural significance
  • Tourist attraction
  • Urban landscape
  • Sustainability
  • Conservation
  • Economic benefits
  • Historical landmarks
  • Urban renewal
  • Infrastructure
  • Maintenance costs
  • Modern amenities
  • Building regulations
  • Community identity
  • Heritage conservation
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