Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #buildings #ones

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Beacause

Correct your spelling

Because

of the effect of history, many countries have their own old

buildings

and keep looking after them to ensure they are still in good condition.

However

, some

people

think

that is

a waste of time and money. To some degree, it is true. Many will think

instead

protect

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protecting

show examples

those ancient

buildings

government

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the government

show examples

needs to

spent

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spend

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more tax revenue to improve infrastructure, national defense and many other things

that

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are

show examples

directly related to common

people

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. That will greatly improve

people

's living

standard

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standards

show examples

, which may lead to

Remove the article

apply

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great economic growth.

Besides

, as

population

Correct article usage

the population

show examples

keep growing, more and more

people

have no place to live.

Couldn't

Wrong verb form

Can't

show examples

afford the high price of

house

Add an article

the house

a house

show examples

, the poor may have to sleep on the street. If we knock down those

buildings

, maybe there not only will be more places to live, but

also

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

create more jobs for those unemployed.

However

, we can't always solve these living issues by

destroy

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destroying

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

old

buildings

. Historic

buildings

have a lot of cultural values, which

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

inmesurable

Correct your spelling

immeasurable

. Modern artists and engineers still can learn a lot from

these ancient structure

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this ancient structure

these ancient structures

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then

Correct word choice

and then

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create

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apply

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better

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

Moreover

, as the symbol of a nation's culture, we have no

reasons

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reason

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to destroy all of those

due to

our patriotism.

In addition

, tourism will

full

Add a missing verb

be full

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of gratitude if governments decide to let these

beatiful

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beautiful

miracle

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miracles

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remain. Foreign tourists always love other

coutries'

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countries'

special

culture

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cultures

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. Different kind of architecture can deeply

atract

Correct your spelling

attract

their attention and money for tickets.

Due to

that, government can receive more revenue, and the nation can

growing

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grow

show examples

more quickly. Certainly, it is necessary to move some resources to improve infrastructure, but not all of them. Ancient

buildings

represent the wisdom of our ancestors. We need to protect them well so that all of our

human

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humans

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can share these

cultrual

Correct your spelling

cultural

wealth. So in

conclution

Correct your spelling

conclusion

I'm not completely disagree

Change the verb form

I do not completely disagree

show examples

Submitted by pitaleung8 on Sun Apr 14 2024

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Tone and Style

Be mindful of maintaining a formal tone throughout your essay. Avoid using colloquial language or contractions ('couldn't', 'government needs to spent') to maintain academic formality.

Grammar

Pay attention to your grammatical structures and verb tenses to ensure accuracy and clarity. Errors like 'government needs to spent' should be corrected to 'government needs to spend'.

Sentence Variety

Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay. While your essay has a good structure, more complex sentences could further improve its coherence.

Support and Development

Develop your paragraphs with more supporting details and examples. Though you have provided reasons and consequences, elaborating with specific examples or data can strengthen your argument and task achievement score.

Task Achievement

Your essay effectively addresses the topic, presenting both sides of the argument and concluding with a personal opinion, demonstrating good task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay effectively and aids in its overall coherence.

Structure

Your essay is well-structured with a logical progression of ideas, contributing to its coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

310 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Preservation
Restoration
Demolition
Architectural heritage
Cultural significance
Tourist attraction
Urban landscape
Sustainability
Conservation
Economic benefits
Historical landmarks
Urban renewal
Infrastructure
Maintenance costs
Modern amenities
Building regulations
Community identity
Heritage conservation

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Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is bette to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

In some countries, it can be difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience. What do you think are the causes and effects of this problem?

Fossil fuels, such as coal, oil and natural gas, are the main source for many countries. However, some nations are using alternatie energy such as solar power and wind power. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

All students should study a foreign language in school, starting in their earliest grades. To What extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it?