Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Beacause
of the effect of history, many countries have their own old Correct your spelling
Because
buildings
and keep looking after them to ensure they are still in good condition. However
, some people
think that is
a waste of time and money.
To some degree, it is true. Many will think instead
of protect
those ancient Change the verb form
protecting
buildings
, government
needs to Add an article
the government
spent
more tax revenue to improve infrastructure, national defense and many other things Change the verb
spend
that
is
directly related to common Change the verb form
are
people
's life
. That will greatly improve Fix the agreement mistake
lives
people
's living standard
, which may lead to Fix the agreement mistake
standards
a
great economic growth.
Remove the article
apply
Besides
, as population
keep growing, more and more Correct article usage
the population
people
have no place to live. Couldn't
afford the high price of Wrong verb form
Can't
house
, the poor may have to sleep on the street. If we knock down those Add an article
the house
a house
buildings
, maybe there not only will be more places to live, but also
can
create more jobs for those unemployed.
Verb problem
apply
However
, we can't always solve these living issues by destroy
Change the verb form
destroying
the
old Correct article usage
apply
buildings
. Historic buildings
have a lot of cultural values, which is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
inmesurable
. Modern artists and engineers still can learn a lot from Correct your spelling
immeasurable
these ancient structure
, Change the determiner
this ancient structure
these ancient structures
then
create Correct word choice
and then
a
better Correct article usage
apply
one
. Correct pronoun usage
ones
Moreover
, as the symbol of a nation's culture, we have no reasons
to destroy all of those Fix the agreement mistake
reason
due to
our patriotism.
In addition
, tourism will full
of gratitude if governments decide to let these Add a missing verb
be full
beatiful
Correct your spelling
beautiful
miracle
remain. Foreign tourists always love other Fix the agreement mistake
miracles
coutries'
special Correct your spelling
countries'
culture
. Different kind of architecture can deeply Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
atract
their attention and money for tickets. Correct your spelling
attract
Due to
that, government can receive more revenue, and the nation can growing
more quickly.
Certainly, it is necessary to move some resources to improve infrastructure, but not all of them. Ancient Change the form of the verb
grow
buildings
represent the wisdom of our ancestors. We need to protect them well so that all of our human
can share these Change to a plural noun
humans
cultrual
wealth. So in Correct your spelling
cultural
conclution
, Correct your spelling
conclusion
I'm not completely disagree
.Change the verb form
I do not completely disagree
Submitted by pitaleung8 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Tone and Style
Be mindful of maintaining a formal tone throughout your essay. Avoid using colloquial language or contractions ('couldn't', 'government needs to spent') to maintain academic formality.
Grammar
Pay attention to your grammatical structures and verb tenses to ensure accuracy and clarity. Errors like 'government needs to spent' should be corrected to 'government needs to spend'.
Sentence Variety
Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay. While your essay has a good structure, more complex sentences could further improve its coherence.
Support and Development
Develop your paragraphs with more supporting details and examples. Though you have provided reasons and consequences, elaborating with specific examples or data can strengthen your argument and task achievement score.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic, presenting both sides of the argument and concluding with a personal opinion, demonstrating good task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay effectively and aids in its overall coherence.
Structure
Your essay is well-structured with a logical progression of ideas, contributing to its coherence and cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!