IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

One of your friends recently had a birthday celebration, but you missed it and you forgot to tell your friend that you couldn't attend.

#friends #birthday #celebration #friend #couldn
One of your friends recently had a
birthday
 celebration, but you missed it and you forgot to tell your friend that you couldn't attend. Dear Jessi, I'm so sorry that I failed to attend your
birthday
 party and I hope you are not mad at me. I was so excited to have been invited to your
birthday
 and I even had plans for the occasion. But at the
last
moment
Add a comma
moment,
show examples
 an emergency compelled me to change my plan. I'm sorry that I
even had
Verb problem
did
show examples
 not
Rephrase
even informed
show examples
informed
Wrong verb form
inform
show examples
 you. I
disremember
Verb problem
remember
show examples
 your
day
,
due to
 the fact
2
Correct word choice
that 2
show examples
days before your
birthday
 my grandmother was hospitalized, as she didn't feel well
and
Correct word choice
apply
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the doctors said she needed an operation, and they scheduled the surgery
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
day
 of your
birthday
. Unfortunately, my grandma's operation was difficult,
therefore
 I failed to remember about the
day
 you were born,
however
, now she is doing well do not worry about it. Anyway, let bygones be bygones and I would like to spend the
day
 with you and I will pay for everything you buy, I mean food and swings. Best wishes, Ann James
Submitted by ieltsielts81 on

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General
Ensure to proofread your essay to catch and correct minor typographical errors and to enhance clarity.
Tone
Try to maintain a consistent formal tone throughout your letter for consistency and to match the context of an apology for missing an important event.
Structure
Provide a brief closing statement to your letter to encapsulate your apology and intentions moving forward, enhancing the overall structure.
Empathy
You effectively apologized and explained the reason for your absence, which shows empathy and responsibility.
Generosity
Offering to spend a day with your friend and covering the expenses is a generous gesture that further strengthens your apology.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are present and satisfactory, creating a clear framework for your letter.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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