In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shipping. Is this a positive or a negative ?

Due to
the rapid growth of technology , the world has come a long way
therefore
the lifestyle of people has changed a lot in the past few years . Development has affected
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peoples
Change to a genitive case
people's
peoples'
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
in numerous ways .it is undeniable that because of the development of shopping malls, the small shop owners have faced a huge loose in their business . In the midst of change , people like to buy
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
from big shopping malls or online stores which has
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
impact on small business owners . In the succeeding monograph, I intend to delve into the assertion
as well as
proffer examples to justify my notion.
Submitted by shyamal017 on

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task achievement
Ensure to report the essay question clearly in your introduction to anchor your essay's direction.
task achievement
For a more balanced discussion, consider discussing both the positive and negative impacts of the phenomenon, including examples for each viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, create clear paragraphs for each main idea, using one paragraph for each point and supporting it with examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Enhancing cohesion can be achieved by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Consider concluding your essay with a summary of your discussion and your final opinion, which can provide a clear closure.
task achievement
Your introduction sets a good stage for the essay by recognizing the impact of technological advancement on consumer habits.
task achievement
The clear acknowledgement of the negative impact on small businesses provides a strong basis for your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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