IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The first pie chart illustrates an average Australian household’s usage of
energy
Use synonyms
 in percentage. The second chart shows the percentages of the greenhouse
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
result from
energy
Use synonyms
 use.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
energy
Use synonyms
 usage of heating accounts for the biggest section in Australian households'
energy
Use synonyms
 use.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
gas
Use synonyms
 emission from water heating shows the highest percentage which is 32%. For household
energy
Use synonyms
 use, the
least
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
 two are cooling and lighting which are 2% and 4% respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, refrigeration consumption is 7% which is less than other appliances by 8 percent. The second largest accounting is water heating
energy
Use synonyms
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is 30 percent.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
gas
Use synonyms
 emission from cooling is the lowest in greenhouse
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions which is 3%.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the second lowest one is lighting which is less than refrigeration by 6 percent. And
then
Linking Words
,
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 heating and other appliances account for 15% and 28% respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, gas with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average Australian household
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Energy consumption
  • Activities
  • Heating
  • Cooling
  • Water heating
  • Appliances
  • Lighting
  • Standby
  • Percentage (%)
  • Consumption patterns
  • Efficiency
  • Emissions impact
  • Renewable energy
  • Energy-saving measures
  • Sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Electricity
  • Natural gas
  • Emissions breakdown
  • Energy audit
  • Environmental impact
  • Conservation
  • Mitigation strategies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: