Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part-time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages of it's effect on a child.
In recent times, career choice has become a subject of significant debate
due to
its multifaceted nature. Kids
are motivated by their progenitors to start a
part-Correct article usage
apply
time
work in their free time
. This
essay will delve into both the advantages and disadvantages associated with this
notion, shedding light on its various aspects.
One
of the most prominent benefits of this
early start is adaptation
Correct article usage
the adaptation
of
lifestyle. Children can learn skills quickly when they are taught in Change preposition
to
teen age
rather than in adulthood as they have Correct your spelling
teenage
fresh
Add an article
a fresh
brain
and Fix the agreement mistake
brains
one
can feed anything in that computer. They will learn Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
financial management skills which in turn, will help them in future. Correct article usage
apply
This
advantage is seen in the western
world as compared to some Capitalize word
Western
asian
countries. Change the capitalization
Asian
For instance
, child labour is banned in India where a person is sentenced to two years of imprisonment on
Change preposition
for
hiring
of Add an article
the hiring
employ
under 18 years of age Replace the word
employees
whereas
in
Australia, youngsters can start work Add the comma(s)
, in
from
when they are 14 . Change preposition
apply
Furthermore
, I feel that young one's
are more skilled here in AustraliaChange the noun form
ones
one
,
when they reach Remove the comma
apply
to
18 which stands out as another Change preposition
apply
favorable
aspect. Change the spelling
favourable
This
can be observed in many hospitality restaurants where many asian
workers are working under Change the capitalization
Asian
lower aged
Add a hyphen
lower-aged
western
managers or supervisors. Another positive point is it makes them more independent, which contributes significantly to Capitalize word
Western
manage
family and Wrong verb form
managing
time
in later
stage of life. These advantages collectively showcase the benefits of starting Add an article
the later
a later
career
Correct article usage
a career
while
studying at school as compared to university years.
However
, this
early start is not without its drawbacks. Foremost among these is kids
loose
their leisure Replace the word
lose
time
. Free time
plays an important role in
an early age as Change preposition
at
this
is the time
when one
develop
a lot of hobbies which in turn, help them to choose a better pathway after school. Change the verb form
develops
Additionally
, sometimes more salary presents a significant challenge. Instances of this
can be seen in news
where some adults started taking drugs or involved in illegal activities as they have enough money to spend. Add an article
the news
Moreover
, it develops Correct article usage
a habbit
habbit
of more shopping in adults and they start doing more work to fulfil their needs. Correct your spelling
habit
habits
In
Change preposition
As
result
, some Correct article usage
a result
kids
do not continue their studies, when they are promoted to more
higher positions, as they think that they are already earning Change the word
apply
alot
, and Correct your spelling
a lot
they
don't need Correct pronoun usage
apply
university
education, Correct article usage
a university
whereas
university
education can make them successful Correct article usage
a university
businessman
as well.
In conclusion, working in free Fix the agreement mistake
businessmen
time
encompasses both advantageous and disadvantageous aspects that deserve consideration. The benefits of earning money demonstrate its potential to positively impact on
Change preposition
apply
kids
, while
the drawbacks of this
prompt start highlight areas that need careful attention. This
comprehensive understanding will undoubtedly shape the future discourse on career
.Fix the agreement mistake
careers
Submitted by kaurv083 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to clearly distinguish between advantages and disadvantages within the body of your essay. Using clearer transitions can help emphasize these distinctions.
task achievement
Integrate more specific examples to illustrate your points. Real-world instances or statistical data can significantly strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Although your essay touches on key points, always aim to develop your ideas further to allow for an in-depth exploration of the topic.
task achievement
Pay attention to the accuracy of information, such as the legal working age in different countries. Providing precise and accurate details enhances the credibility of your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of part-time work for children.
coherence cohesion
You have demonstrated a good level of vocabulary, which helps in articulating your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The inclusion of an introduction and a conclusion helps to frame your essay well, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.