The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
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The pie chart shows the possible reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
land degradation around the globe,
while
Linking Words
the table depicts the causes by
regions
Fix the agreement mistake
region
show examples
. Units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the graphs is that lands are mainly damaged by over-grazing.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the most affected lands are in Europe. Looking into detail, regarding the causes, over-grazing ranked first with 35%, which is followed by the deforestation of plants with 30%. The percentage of the over-cultivation reason for land degradation is just above one in four which is fourfold other reasons(7%). In terms of causes in different regions, in North America, 3.3%
land
Change preposition
of land
show examples
degraded
Add a missing verb
is degraded
show examples
by over-cultivation, which is more than two times higher than that
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
over-grazing.
However
Linking Words
, in Europe, most of
lands
Add an article
the lands
show examples
were damaged by deforestation (9.8%),
while
Linking Words
other factors were almost the same (around 6%).
Moreover
Linking Words
, the figures for deforestation in North America and Oceania were less than 2%,
whereas
Linking Words
over-grazing ranked first in Oceania with just above one in ten.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Agricultural productivity
  • Deforestation
  • Over-cultivation
  • Overgrazing
  • Soil erosion
  • Nutrient depletion
  • Land degradation
  • Soil compaction
  • Fertility
  • Preventive measures
  • Sustainable farming practices
  • Environmental impact
  • Economic implications
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