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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

High Rise building - advantage/disadvantage These days more people prefer to live in vertical buildings. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the people?

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There are 3 disadvantages to take into consideration that nowadays, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to live in high-rise buildings. The obvious argument in its favour is that living in vertical buildings takes
people
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 away from nature.
This
Linking Words
 is because
people
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 lack green
areas
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 and change their original way of life.
For example
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,
people
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 can not do agriculture and plant trees in their
area
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.
As a result
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, they have to change lifestyles related to
city
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 life.
In addition
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, the disadvantage is that
people
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 pay a lot of money for small
areas
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.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that the
areas
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 have limited space in the
city
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 and the price of the
area
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 is very expensive.
For instance
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, a small
area
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 in the
city
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 centre is more expensive than a big
area
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 in the countryside.
Therefore
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, it is not efficient for
people
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the disadvantage is that tall architecture can easily cause accidents.
This
Linking Words
 is because sometimes unexpected situations can be difficult to avoid.
For example
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, disasters, fire incidents and crime events.
As a result
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, they hardly live in daily life.
However
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, the advantage is that
areas
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 are efficiently used within the limits of the
city
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area
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.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that
people
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 can move more to live in the town.
For instance
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, moving
people
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 can develop facilities in the big
city
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 and help the growth of the economy.
Therefore
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,
people
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 and cities can extend the economic system in the future. In conclusion, living in high-rise buildings will be a popular trend in the future.
However
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, in the long term living in tall architecture has many disadvantages which affect the environment and the high density of
people
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 who live in the
city
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.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay has a balanced approach when discussing advantages and disadvantages. Your essay leans heavily towards the disadvantages, which might affect the overall perception of a balanced argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking phrases and transitional words to enhance coherence between your ideas and paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop your introduction and conclusion further by summarizing the main points more clearly, which helps in reinforcing your argument and providing a clearer closure.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a variety of sentence structures to improve the flow and readability of your essay.
Task Achievement
You have effectively outlined specific examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay's persuasiveness.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your paragraphing is clear, making it easy to follow the structure of your argument.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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