IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You have read about a scholarship offered by a university and wish to apply. Write a letter to the university and include the following information. ● the scholarship you wish to apply for ● some detail about yourself ● your academic suitability for the scholarship

#scholarship #university #information #detail #suitability
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to apply for a
scholarship
 at the TDIU for my next study. My name is Ben and I am a student at that economics university, first year.Apart from that, I want to apply for a
scholarship
 to manage my daily eating.
Furthermore
, I don't belong to a rich-class family and I work in the supermarket all afternoon days and I will have sent home all the money I earn. So I don't have extra money to eat.
Due to
this
, I need a
scholarship
 for my tuition fee.
Apart from
this
, what other documents are necessary for filling out a
scholarship
 I will need a
scholarship
 for study. Looking forward to a favourable response. Yours sincerely, Ben Robert.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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Task Achievement
To strengthen your letter, provide a more structured introduction, clearly stating the specific scholarship you are applying for. A clear mention of the scholarship name or field can make your intent more direct and persuasive.
Task Achievement
Mention more clearly your achievements or qualifications that make you a suitable candidate for the scholarship. This could involve your academic accomplishments, extracurricular activities, or any relevant experiences that highlight your suitability.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve coherence by organizing your ideas more logically. Connecting sentences and paragraphs more clearly will make your letter easier to follow.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include a closing paragraph that summarises your request and expresses your hope or expectation for a positive outcome. This helps in ending your letter on a positive note.
Task Achievement
You effectively communicated your financial need for the scholarship.
Task Achievement
Your polite tone and respect towards the reader are appropriate for the context of a scholarship application.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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