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Band 4.5

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can the government do to reduce the amount of waste produced?

#rubbish #government #amount #waste
The general issue of increasing production of rubbish or
overall
 volume of
waste
 disposal is a concerning one from an environmental and moral perspective, there can be several reasons
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why
this
 trend is increasing but the general issue seems to be directly caused by the rapid growth of population globally which means a rise in
waste
 disposal volume
overall
. Another perspective that can help explain the rise of
such
phenomenon
Correct article usage
a phenomenon
show examples
 might be
due to
 a high volume of
such
waste
 production in
particulary
Correct your spelling
particular
particularly
 less developed countries which are
also
 currently experiencing a
popualtion
Correct your spelling
population
 boom
due to
 inefficient administrative practices and corruption, which
innturn
Correct your spelling
in turn
inturn
 means there is no significant presence of appropriate institutions and systems in place to control the
waste
 production
whoch
Correct your spelling
which
 impacts the natural environment in a negative manner. In rich or developed countries the growing
waste
 problem seems to mainly stem from the process of overconsumption per capita/per individual or through household measures , despite these countries not being overpopulated they annually consume more industrial and
manfucatred
Correct your spelling
manufactured
 goods
due to
 higher standards of living which naturally demands a higher strain on resources creating more
waste
as a result
 in the form of an end result.
Finally
, the solutions that can be implemented to mitigate these issues generally should focus on government initiatives to control the flow of
waste
productions
Fix the agreement mistake
production
show examples
 through various programs dedicating a significantly higher percentage of
annual
Correct article usage
the annual
show examples
 budget
addressing
Change preposition
to addressing
show examples
this
 problem it can
also
 be done by means of private non-profit NGOs and
collabrations
Correct your spelling
collaborations
collaboration
 with environmental protection agencies to explore various strategies and options to reduce it,
overall
this
 can assist in reducing the impact on environment and health of society.
Submitted by toqeer44 on

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Structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your essay seems to blend these sections together, making it difficult for readers to follow your points.
Examples
Use more specific examples to support your points. While you have mentioned some causes and potential solutions, integrating real-world examples or statistics could strengthen your argument.
Task Response
Address the task more directly by clearly outlining the reasons for increased waste production and proposing specific governmental actions. Although you touch upon these topics, a more focused and elaborative approach could improve your score.
Coherence
Improve your coherence by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and is logically connected to the rest of the essay. Consider using more linking words and phrases to better signal the relationships between your ideas.
Topic Awareness
You've touched upon an important global issue, showing awareness of its complexity and potential solutions, which is great for the task.
Language
Your essay indicates a good level of English proficiency with appropriate vocabulary to discuss environmental issues.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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