IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Developing countries require help offered by international organizations to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial aid is important. Others believe that practical aid and advice are more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#countries #organizations #development #people #aid #advice
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The society which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 developing need cooperation from international organizations to make sure options
such
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 as healthy and sustainable improvement have occurred. A group of people believe
that is
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 a beneficial activity to aid them with
money
Use synonyms
 , meanwhile, others assume that practical help and notices will be more advantageous. I think practical help and advice are positive because the aimed locations would be able to avoid some uncontrollable consequences and
also
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 prevent some problems.
To begin
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 with, the world is changing rapidly and many nations are going through
this
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 process , if modern
countries
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 help them they will be able to cut the line and increase their speed ,
as a result
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, they will be able to overcome
this
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 hardship easier. The developed nations could use their experience and share it with those areas which are struggling with the process and they can find out to follow which pass to help their population be more satisfied.
For example
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, Turkey is developing and needs to consider some new rules to help its population and
also
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 satisfy its surrounding
countries
Use synonyms
 at
this
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 point, they can adopt the history and rules of the region which experienced it once and Turkey will be able to avoid some issues.
In addition
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, if developed nations do not control some
countries
Use synonyms
, they gradually start to use some distributions against global safety and might cause wars,
such
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 as ISIS.
On the other hand
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, some think is better to invest
money
Use synonyms
 in those changing areas,
although
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, I believe is not really effective because if the governments do not know how to use that
money
Use synonyms
 they will be stuck in-depth and they will not be able to return that
money
Use synonyms
 back, so better policy and
also
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 suitable knowledge will help more than cash because if a community have enough science they can achieve
money
Use synonyms
 more convenient. In conclusion, a large number of
countries
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 are developing and they need help , some think
money
Use synonyms
 investment is the best method ,
while
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, others believe practical aid is beneficial. In my view, real help
such
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 as experience and rules and manual help is positive because just having cash cannot solve problems and education and thoughtfulness are more essential.
Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on

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Introduction and Thesis Statement
Ensure a clear thesis statement is present in the introduction to directly address the essay prompt.
Paragraph Structure
Work on developing clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument.
Sentence Variety and Transitions
Use a variety of sentence structures and transitional phrases to improve the flow of the essay and connect ideas more smoothly.
Use of Examples
Incorporate specific examples to support your arguments. These examples help to illustrate your points and make your argument more persuasive.
Balanced Argument
You effectively discussed both views on financial and practical aid, demonstrating a balanced approach.
Clear Argumentation
Your argument favoring practical aid and advice over financial aid is clearly articulated and supported throughout the essay.
Effective Conclusion
The conclusion successfully summarizes the essay's main points and restates your personal stance, providing a strong closure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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