IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

medical professionals suah as doctors and nurses from poorer countries often migrate to rich countries. what problems arise from this situation? what measures can be taken to deal with it?

#professionals #suah #doctors #nurses #countries #situation #measures
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Nowadays, many people move from one place to another, either to accomplish their dreams or in search of
any
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 job. It comprises
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different types of individuals including students, doctors, nurses, lawyers and many more. There is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 opinion that many medical specialists migrate from undeveloped countries to more advanced
nations
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both the difficulties which arise from
this
Linking Words
 situation and
different
Correct article usage
the different
show examples
 steps involved as a remedy to it. Commencing with problems created by
this
Linking Words
 movement of youngsters within different provinces, the major difficulty is the
resulted
Add the preposition
resulted in
resulted from
show examples
 less development of poorer countries. Doctors from
under
Correct word choice
underdeveloped
show examples
progress
Use synonyms
nations
Use synonyms
 move to rich
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
, which shows ultimately less
progress
Use synonyms
 in
hoptials
Correct your spelling
hospitals
 and clinics. As few
care-takers
Correct your spelling
caretakers
show examples
 are present in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
underdeveloped
nations
Use synonyms
, patients do not get better treatment for their ailments.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 immigration causes
reduction
Add an article
a reduction
show examples
 in demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 successful doctors in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rich
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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, as
market
Add an article
the market
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 is
conjested
Correct your spelling
congested
 with so many of them.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 a survey, 55% of the native population in
medical
Add an article
the medical
show examples
 sector of Finland is unemployed because many international citizens are moved to the territory and work in
this
Linking Words
 field.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there can be many
poosible
Correct your spelling
possible
 remedies to control
this
Linking Words
 situation. The major step to control it can be taken by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
. In poorer
nations
Use synonyms
, people should be made
concious
Correct your spelling
conscious
 of
scope
Correct article usage
the scope
show examples
 and demand of these jobs in their own field.
Also
Linking Words
, stringent rules should be regulated for the process of getting
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
approval to move to
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
 territory and work there.
Consequently
Linking Words
, people will try to settle in their own country and
progress
Use synonyms
 will be increased.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I can say that migrating to any other area is an uneconomical step for the
progress
Use synonyms
 of a province. Population should
make
Wrong verb form
be made
show examples
 aware of staying in their indigenous country and contribute to the
overall
Linking Words
progress
Use synonyms
 of
medicinal
Correct article usage
the medicinal
show examples
 sector of the nation.
Submitted by sunitarani00784 on

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Development of Ideas
Focus on developing your main points with more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments.
Language Accuracy
Pay attention to the accuracy of language (spelling, grammar, vocabulary) to improve clarity and overall impact.
Sentence Structure
Work on sentence structure variety and complexity to enhance readability and cohesion.
Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarize your main points and stance.
Task Response
Your essay addresses both the problems and solutions regarding the migration of medical professionals, which shows a good understanding of the task.
Organization
You organize your essay logically, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Language Attempt
You attempt to use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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