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Band 2.5

Adults do less exercise nowadays. Some people thi it that people can be encouraged to live healthy lives through sporting events such as Olympics and World cups. Others think that there are better ways to encourage adults to do exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#adults #exercise #people #thi #lives #events #olympics #world #cups
In
this
 day and age,
adults
 so
fewersport
Correct your spelling
fewer sport
 in their
Correct your spelling
daily
dailt
Correct your spelling
daily
 life,on the one side, people think that people can be encouraged to live healthy lives it is because
Change the capitalization
Olympics
show examples
olympics
Change the capitalization
Olympics
show examples
 and
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
Capitalize word
Cups
show examples
cups
Capitalize word
Cups
show examples
.the other sides think that there
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 other ways to encourage
adults
 to do
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 activities. Some
peoplr
Correct your spelling
people
 think when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sporting
evrnt
Correct your spelling
event
events
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tv
then
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
adults
 will have
desire
Change the article
the desire
show examples
 to go outside and
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 exercise.
Adults
 will inspire
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the athlete.
Also
,some of them
believether
Correct your spelling
believe they
believe there
 are
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
 way to let
adults
doig
Correct your spelling
do
 sport
instead
 of staying at home. in my view,i account the best
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
 to encourage
adults
 to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise is
set
Fix the infinitive
to set
show examples
 up more gym
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
show examples
intheir
Correct your spelling
in their
 work space.it is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
most of the
adults
 are busy.They don't have
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
 balance in their
dailt
Correct your spelling
daily
 life.when they have time they just want to stay at home.
however
, if build up more facilities in their
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 and near their house. It is easy to go and nourish their exercise habit .The
adults
 will
loves
Change the verb form
love
show examples
 it.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Grammar & Spelling
Consider reviewing your essay for typographical errors and spelling mistakes to enhance readability.
Task Response
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Grammar
Using a variety of sentence structures can enhance the clarity and flow of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Connecting your ideas more clearly and using transitional phrases can improve the coherence of your essay.
Task Response
You've successfully discussed both views as the question requested.
Task Achievement
Your personal opinion is clearly stated, providing a complete response to the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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