IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The supplied graph represents the proportion of tourists to England who went certain attractions in Brighton between 1980 and 2010.

The supplied graph represents the proportion of tourists to England who went certain attractions in Brighton between 1980 and 2010.
The line graph presents the proportion of visitors, who saw attractions in Brighton, England. The data is relevant for the period of time between 1980 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are four different attractions, the most visited place among them was the
Pavilion
Use synonyms
, which almost one-third of people saw.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the Pier was the most uninteresting area among
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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, but during the
last
Linking Words
 five years, the Art Gallery has become much more unpopular, approximately only one-tenth of tourists went there.
Initially
Linking Words
, in 1980, the Festival attracted around one-third of all visitors, and it was the highest figure in that year,
while
Linking Words
Pavilion
Use synonyms
, the
further
Linking Words
 leader, made up 25%. The Festival remained almost steady
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
 30 years, and in 1985
Pavilion
Use synonyms
 overtook the Festival in the percentage of visitors. The most significant rise of
Pavilion
Use synonyms
 was from 1985 to 1995,
however
Linking Words
,
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 year it diminished dramatically to about 33%. In 1980, the Art Gallery was about 20%, but in the next year experienced dramatic growth to around 40%.
However
Linking Words
, during the next 25 years, fell to about 10%, the lowest figure ever. Meanwhile, Pier fluctuated and in 2005 overtook Art Gallery.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pavilion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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