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Band 3

the top priority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsbilities . To what extend do you agree or disagree

#priority #businesses #money #responsbilities
Environment plays a part and parcel role in our lives. We live in a society
thus
 it is our duty to take after the environment . In the midst of change , society has been divided into two groups as per
distinct
Correct article usage
the distinct
show examples
 mindsets of different folks . One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is a colossal number of people claim that the main agenda of doing business is making profit but
also
 do not have to take steps for global disasters meanwhile
on the contrary
 , other communities totally opine with the notion . There is a range of conflicting arguments related to the assertion . In the succeeding monograph, I intend to delve into the assertion
as well as
 proffer examples to justify my point of view.
Submitted by shyamal017 on

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Introduction
Introduction lacks a clear thesis statement reflecting the writer's position on the topic of business priorities and social responsibilities. Consider adding a sentence directly stating whether you agree or disagree with the idea presented in the topic.
Structure
Ensure the essay has a clear structure by dividing it into paragraphs. Each paragraph should have one main idea supported by examples or explanations. This will enhance the clarity and coherence of your argument.
Content
Use specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your essay by showing how your ideas apply in real-world contexts.
Conclusion
The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position in a clear manner. Make sure it gives a concise closure to your argument, reflecting on the discussion presented.
Topic Introduction
You've made a good effort to introduce the topic and present a general viewpoint on the issue of businesses prioritizing profit over social responsibilities.
Language
Your language usage shows a range of vocabulary, which is a positive aspect of your writing. This variety can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate your language proficiency.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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