In mant countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of money?
In recent years, an ample amount of governmental investment
money
is being
poured into new Wrong verb form
has been
technology
to deal with the public in order to forster
cutting-edge industries. Correct your spelling
foster
This
is a good use of government
money
because they
Correct pronoun usage
it
expand
knowledge, Correct subject-verb agreement
expands
enhance
productivity and Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
offer
tools Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
of
global growth.
The motivation of national administrations for focusing Change preposition
for
in
Change preposition
on
technology
often varied. The most common purpose is to build up a greener and more equiptable
economy. The countries that have Correct your spelling
equitable
technology
-rich economy
may have Fix the agreement mistake
economies
strenghthenedthe
state intervention and Correct your spelling
strengthened the
provide
faster, more proactive and more collaborative approaches and policies. The Wrong verb form
provided
Covid-19
crisis has given a Correct your spelling
COVID-19
further
example for
Change preposition
of
that
the Correct word choice
how
government
invests money
to
Change preposition
in
technology
to improve medical treatment and security as well as
maintaining
education for students during the pandemic.
Another point Wrong verb form
maintain
Correct pronoun usage
that need
need
to be considered is that Change the verb form
needs
these investment
can benefit both residents and leaders of the nation. The more Change the determiner
this investment
these investments
money
the administrators pour into technology
, the better and more modern that society is. These innovations offer workers a better performance in their jobs while
the government
is earing
Correct your spelling
earning
mony
from taxes so that they can use it for their future projects in order to boost the economy and the living standard within the country.
In conclusion, the Correct your spelling
money
government
spends a large amount of money
to
Change preposition
on
technology
to deal with the demands of the public. What is more, the benefits these innovations bring back are worthwile
or sometimes overshadow the enormous costs.Correct your spelling
worthwhile
Submitted by [email protected]
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Vocabulary
Try to ensure a clear and consistent use of terminology throughout your essay. For instance, 'to deal with the public' could be more accurately expressed as 'to address public needs' or 'to engage with the public sector'.
Grammar
Be cautious with spelling and grammatical errors that slightly hinder the readability of your text. Words like 'forster' likely intended as 'foster,' and 'equiptable' as 'equitable', require attention. Moreover, managing sentence structure can refine clarity, such as addressing the phrase 'The more money the administrators pour into technology, the better and more modern that society is.'
Content
Inclusion of specific examples or case studies, where possible, would greatly enhance your argument. While you've mentioned the impact of technology during the COVID-19 crisis, additional detailed examples could further strengthen your points.
Task Response
The essay effectively addresses the prompt, providing a coherent argument on why government investment in technology is both happening and is a judicious use of resources.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively bookend the essay, providing a strong framework for your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've presented a logically structured argument with main points that are supported by broad reasons, indicating a good use of coherence and cohesion techniques.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.