In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public . Why is this happening? Do you think this is an approriate use of government money?

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In plenty
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Plenty
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of well-developed
countries
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are paying more on high-tech devices to face
to
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apply
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the public.
This
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writer agrees that money should be spent more on technology to raise the
countries
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'
economy
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instead
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of
boost
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boosting
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the
unemployed
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unemployment
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rates. The first sense of
advantages
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advantage
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of using money
on buying
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to buy
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new technologies is that it can help
improving
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improve
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countries
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'
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economy
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economies
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. It can be
seem
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seen
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that technology
such
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as artificial intelligence or robots can reduce the
producing
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production
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time so many companies can have more time to come up with new ideas to generate
another professional
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another professional product
other professional products
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products
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.
Moreover
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,
high tech
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high-tech
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devices can
also
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improve the quality of
products
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such
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as
smartphone
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smartphones
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,
remotes
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and remotes
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. For
examples
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example
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,
entreprenuers
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entrepreneurs
can put AI on
the
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apply
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products
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and make them become smarter so the price of
that
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those
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products
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can increase more
that
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if
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its
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it does
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not
having
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have
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AI.
This
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can make
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economy
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the economy
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of the
countries
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developed and boost the development of these
countries
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. Another
one
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apply
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point can be considered that the more technologies we get, the higher
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the unemployed
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unemployed
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unemployment
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rates we get. Basically, AI and robots can replace humans
on
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in
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some work fields
such
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as
office
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offices
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,
houseworks
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housework
and the
producing
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production
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processes.
In recently
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Recently
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, many processes of
product's
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product
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generation are more likely to
be used
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use
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robots
instead
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of humans' energy because of the lower costs and
highly
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high
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correction on every
stages
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stage
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. In consequence, unemployees can appear more in
mordern
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modern
countries
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which have
high
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a high
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level of
technology's
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technology
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development. In conclusion,
government
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the government
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should spend more money on new technologies to boost the
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economy
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economic
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systems.
Although
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high-tech devices can replace humans
on
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in
show examples
many fields and cause the increasing rates of
unemployed
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unemployment
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, they still help governments to develop their
countries
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and living
standard
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standards
show examples
.
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Task Response
Your essay presents a clear position throughout, which is good. However, try to ensure a balanced discussion by equally addressing both parts of the question. This means not only discussing why investment in technology is happening but also directly addressing whether it's an appropriate use of government money.
Task Response
Be careful with your use of technology as a sole factor for economic growth and unemployment. Consider adding a variety of examples and evidence to support your points more robustly. This will enrich your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay shows good organization and logical flow between ideas, which is commendable. Consider using a wider range of linking devices and transitional phrases to enhance coherence further. This also helps in making your argument more sophisticated.
Coherence & Cohesion
Pay attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors. These can detract from the clarity of your message. Regular practice and review of basic grammar and spelling rules can significantly improve your writing.
Structure
You've made a good effort in presenting a structured argument, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Content
Your examples, while needing more diversity, show an attempt to support your points with relevant information.
Engagement
The essay demonstrates a decent attempt at addressing the topic, showing both understanding and engagement with the subject matter.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Efficiency
  • Cost savings
  • Automation
  • Manpower
  • Processes
  • Savings
  • Transparency
  • Accountability
  • Digital systems
  • Transactions
  • Corruption
  • Public trust
  • E-governance
  • Citizen satisfaction
  • Economic growth
  • High-tech ecosystem
  • Innovation
  • Job creation
  • Initial expenditures
  • Long-term benefits
  • Digital divide
  • Underserved areas
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