In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with public. Why is this happening? Do you think is an appropriate use of government money?

In the modern era, more and more cutting-edge
devices
are being invented to enhance living standards,
due to
demands of its conveniences and time-saving applications.
However
,
this
is a good purpose to use the
government
's finances. It is vital to understand that new technology is being invented
due to
its conveniences and saving a
lot
of time. There is no doubt that technological
devices
help citizens reduce a
lot
of unnecessary actions and do everything more
facilitate
Correct subject-verb agreement
facilitates
show examples
.
Moreover
, the
government
produces a variety of modern technologies to increase time-saving applications which are used mostly in
industry
Add an article
the industry
show examples
to improve production and provide citizens numerous
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
to do other work and create an effective
workplace's
Change noun form
workplace
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atmostphere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
. Another argument worth considering is that the
government
should use more nation's economy to produce more state-of-the-art
devices
.
This
is because it will improve local living standards,
thus
leading to
promote
Wrong verb form
promoting
show examples
the development national economy.
Furthermore
,
this
money should be used to meet the basic needs of numerous aspects so more and more citizens will feel satisfied and reasonable and have opportunities to gain a
lot
of financial to apply for more purposes.
For example
, Japan
becomes
Verb problem
is
show examples
developing because of focusing on improving their nation's living standard and meeting basic needs by using a
lot
of smart
devices
and robots.
Therefore
, it makes
this
place more popular with tourists around the globe and
also
increases budgets. In conclusion, technological
devices
are being developed
due to
their
conveniences
Fix the agreement mistake
convenience
show examples
and time-saving applications.
However
, it is a reasonable way to use the
government
's budget

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Task Achievement
Consider elaborating on examples with more detail to clearly illustrate your points. Detailed, real-world examples add depth to your argument and help strengthen the connection to the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to ensure that your essay has a clear introductory sentence that outlines the topic and your viewpoint. This sets the tone for the entire essay and guides the reader through your discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on linking ideas more smoothly throughout paragraphs. Transitional phrases or sentences can help create a smoother flow and improve the logical structure of your essay.
Task Achievement
You effectively explore the reasons for and benefits of government investment in technology.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay provides a good attempt to discuss the impacts of technology on society and the economy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital transformation
  • service delivery
  • transparency
  • accountability
  • tech-savvy
  • contemporary lifestyle
  • public satisfaction
  • data management
  • smart city technologies
  • predictive policing
  • data privacy
  • digital divide
  • inclusivity
  • governance
  • infrastructure
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