In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

It is widely known that new
technology
is being invested in to cope with the public in many countries' authorities. The demands of high-quality labour and a better life are the result of
this
, and
this
writer believes that
money
from governments is used properly. There are many obvious reasons for investing
money
in
technology
aiming at improving society. Chief of these is having a large number of workers that can work appropriately to what many companies need. By making computers cheaper and smarter, everyone can easily get access to online courses to learn with good teachers in big cities despite living in remote areas.
Therefore
, companies may have various choices in recruiting employees.
Moreover
, much
technology
is mainly utilized in making the living conditions better.
This
leads to people, by and large, who can totally focus on what they do to contribute to the
country
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
they live.
For example
, many health machines are created for the elderly, so many families are not worried about them as they are cared for well and their health is observed regularly.
This
investment from authorities is spent properly. Indeed, a
country
that has good living standards can be the place for many workers.
Thus
,
this
country
can develop many jobs that require humans’ physics
such
as producing or selling food.
Furthermore
, a healthy
country
means that experienced and talented people can work for a long time before retiring. Thereby, the government does not spend much
money
on alternative ones and uses them to enhance
technology
. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that investing in
technology
is for having employees meet the companies’ expectations and improving society,
this
can take advantage of government
money
optimally for attracting other manual workers and expanding the job length of many people.

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task achievement
Try to focus on developing your ideas more fully with relevant examples. While you touch upon several key points, elaborating on these with more specific examples could enhance clarity and impact.
coherence cohesion
It's beneficial to review and ensure a variety of sentence structures and transitional words/phrases for smoother flow and readability.
task achievement
Your essay addresses all parts of the task, providing a balanced discussion on the usage of government money for technology to serve the public.
coherence cohesion
You've structured your essay logically, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in understanding.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital transformation
  • service delivery
  • transparency
  • accountability
  • tech-savvy
  • contemporary lifestyle
  • public satisfaction
  • data management
  • smart city technologies
  • predictive policing
  • data privacy
  • digital divide
  • inclusivity
  • governance
  • infrastructure
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