In many countries, governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

In recent
year
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years
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,
public
Correct article usage
the public
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have
Wrong verb form
has had
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various
of
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apply
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social issues which are very complex had to be resolved by the
government
and governments are investing
new
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in new
show examples
technologies to deal with them.
This
happening because public
services
for
citizens
and public
services
investment
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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needed so
use
Wrong verb form
using
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government
money
also
Add a missing verb
is also
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a good way to improve
people
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people's
show examples
living
standard
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standards
show examples
.  The main reason
of
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for
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this
phenomenon is that governmental
investment
in technology for public
services
for
citizens
and public
services
investment
is needed. With the low facilities,
government
Add an article
the government
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have to invest in new technology,
such
as AI for healthcare, e-learning platforms for education, and smart infrastructure for cities,
represents
Correct pronoun usage
which represents
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a progressive step towards modernizing public
services
and improving
citizens
' quality of life.
This
stituation
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situation
can resolve
this
matter to improve
human's
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human
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life and facilities. Technological advancements facilitate better data management, leading to more informed policy decisions and streamlined governmental processes.
About of
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Of
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appropriate
use
of
government
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government,
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money idea is one of the right choices for
improve
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improving
show examples
citizens
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citizens'
citizen's
show examples
facilities.
Government
cash
are come
Wrong verb form
comes
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form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
residents
money
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'
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cash
so if
government
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the government
show examples
use
more
resident's
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residents'
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cash
, they will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
loss
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lose
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of
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apply
show examples
popularity and
human's
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human
show examples
living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
will fall. So governmental
investment
in technology for public
services
is driven by the need to enhance efficiency, accessibility, and responsiveness in delivering
services
. In conclusion, governments have to invest
new
Change preposition
in new
show examples
technologies to deal with social issues because of
improve
Wrong verb form
improved
show examples
public
services
,
also
this
is
also
a right choice to
use
government
cash
for social problems and improve resident living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
.
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Introduction
Clarify the introduction with a clear thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss.
Cohesion
Enhance cohesion by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more clearly.
Supporting Details
Provide more specific examples and details to support your main points and strengthen your argument.
Structure
Work on structuring your essay with clear paragraphing, each paragraph focusing on a single main idea.
Conclusion
Conclude your essay by summarizing your main points and stating your personal opinion more clearly.
Addressing the Prompt
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides relevant reasons for government investment in technology.
Focus on Topic
You maintained a consistent focus on the topic throughout the essay.
Understanding of Topic
The essay reflects understanding of the subject and a clear perspective on the use of government money.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital transformation
  • service delivery
  • transparency
  • accountability
  • tech-savvy
  • contemporary lifestyle
  • public satisfaction
  • data management
  • smart city technologies
  • predictive policing
  • data privacy
  • digital divide
  • inclusivity
  • governance
  • infrastructure
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