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Band 5

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think it is an approriate use of government money?

#countries #governments #technology #approriate #government #money
These days, the majority of countries' governments are spending money on new
technology
 to handle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the public, it is easy to know because of the benefits that it brings to
people
's lives.
Moreover
, It is
also
 necessary to spend on government finance. It is recognised that
technology
 is an invention catering to many fields of human
life
. Thanks to its productivity and efficiency, reducing human errors, and solving data quickly,
people
 apply it in many progresses and it can alter humans. Take the highway as an example, nowadays automation has been
using
Wrong verb form
used
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 to
being
Change the form of the verb
be
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 convenient for drivers, if in the past when drivers went to a charging station they needed to pay cash to the fee collection staff, but now with a QR code it can be stitched in front of the divers' car and they just need scan it they can easily go through, it is can save more time for
people
 and alleviate the traffic congestion. It is necessary spending for the government to utilize
technology
. Our
life
 becomes more convenient with the emergence of
technology
. If in the past we needed to use maps to navigate the way to go, nowadays we can use space satellites to navigate easily when we get lost.
Moreover
, it can be easily seen that in the food industry, machines are used to foster the process of making food with adequate
qualities
Change the noun form
quality
show examples
products so that it can meet the needs of human usage.
Additionally
, in medical fields, it is
also
 worth spending money to make medicines or vaccines to reduce epidemics expanding the
life
 expectancy of
people
. In conclusion with the development of
technology
,
people
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 are becoming convenient and it can bring many advantages so it is easy to know why governments need to spend their money to utilize
technology
.

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Introduction
Introduce the topic and your opinion more clearly in the introduction to provide a stronger foundation for your essay.
Coherence
Use more diverse linking words and phrases to improve coherence between sentences and paragraphs.
Examples
Try to include specific examples to support your points more effectively, ensuring they are directly relevant to the question.
Structure
Work on paragraphing more clearly to enhance the logical flow of ideas and make your essay easier to follow.
Conclusion
For a higher score, ensure that your conclusion summarizes your main points and restates your opinion more explicitly.
Examples
Good use of technology-related examples to illustrate your points.
Content
Effective acknowledgment of the importance and impact of technology in various fields.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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