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Band 4.5

in many countries goverment are investing in new technology to deal with the public. why is this happening ? do you think this is a appropriate use of goverment money?

#countries #goverment #technology #money
In the era of
technology
, people prefer using more and more money for
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 that why many countries
start invest
Wrong verb form
have started investing
show examples
 their money
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
improvement
Add an article
the improvement
show examples
 of
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
 online. the investment in new
technology
 by
governments
 to engage with the public is driven by several factors, and whether it is appropriate depends on various considerations
such
 as increased connectivity,
citizen
Correct word choice
and citizen
show examples
 expectations. I believe that it is the right way to invest
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 technological services.
This
 writer will explain more following the essay. The proliferation of
technology
 has made it easier for
governments
 to reach
citizens
 and vice versa. With
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of the population having access to smartphones and the internet, investing in
technology
 enables
governments
 to leverage these channels for communication and service delivery.
For example
. we have many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
delivery apps like
grap
Change the capitalization
Grap
show examples
 or
uber
Capitalize word
Uber
show examples
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 provide some type of professional shipping form with cheaper
prize
Correct your spelling
prices
show examples
. In today's digital age,
citizens
 expect
governments
 to be responsive, transparent, and accessible. Investing in
technology
 helps them meet these expectations by providing convenient ways for
citizens
 to interact with their representatives, access information, and participate in decision-making processes. in conclusion, whether investing in new
technology
 to engage with the public is
approriate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
 depends on the specific context,objectives, and priorities of each
governments
Change to a singular noun
government
show examples
. When
dne
Correct your spelling
done
 thoughtfully and responsibly, leveraging
technology
 can enhance governance, improve public services, and foster greater
citizens
Change the noun form
citizen
show examples
 engagement and participation.
However
, it is essential to address potential challenges and risks
while
 ensuring that
technology
 serves the best
Correct your spelling
interests
interest
intreests
Correct your spelling
interests
 of society as a whole
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structure
Work on refining your essay structure to include a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, each serving their unique purpose.
evidence
Ensure your ideas are fully developed and supported by specific examples or evidence. This strengthens your arguments and makes your essay more compelling.
accuracy
Carefully proofread your work to correct spelling, grammar, and typographical errors, as these detract from the essay's overall clarity.
linking
To enhance cohesion, use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
insight
You recognize the importance of government investment in technology and its potential to improve public services.
relevance
Your essay touches on significant factors such as the need for transparency and responsiveness in government.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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