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Band 5.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at a primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages??

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One of the highly controversial issues today relates to whether
to begin
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 picking up a
language
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 other than the mother
language
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 at elementary
school
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 or secondary
school
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.
this
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 essay
,
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apply
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 will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of learning a foreign
language
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 at a young age. On the one hand, the main advantage of learning a foreign
language
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 at a young age is a bright future waiting for them. In fact, learning a foreign
language
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 in primary
school
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 not only helps
children
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 gain a better understanding of culture and tradition but
also
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make
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makes
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 better decisions for their future and
find
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finds
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 employment opportunities over time.
Furthermore
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,
children
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 at a young age (from 5 to 7 years old) learn much more easily than teenagers. Take the lack of mental engagement as an example; they help
children
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 to focus on their studies and learn another
language
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 without the slightest problem.
However
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, it is important to recognize that there are
also
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 advantages associated with learning a foreign
language
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. One of the main drawbacks is the potential confusion for
students
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. Since
students
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 have to learn the basic structure of the mother tongue, it is difficult for them to support both languages, they usually experience
language
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 interference. Another disadvantage of learning a foreign
language
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 is the possibility of increasing mental conflict for
children
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due to
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 not overcoming their fear. In fact, if
students
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 have to learn both their mother tongue and a foreign
language
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 at the same time, not only will they not learn another
language
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, but they will
also
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 lose their motivation. In conclusion, by learning the
language
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 in primary
school
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,
students
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 seize new opportunities
,
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apply
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 and achieve greater success.
However
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, there is always a chance of failure or negative outcomes,
such
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 as confusion and
mental
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the mental
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 involvement of kids.

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Task Achievement
Revise and clarify potential confusion in the 'advantages' section, ensuring that all points made clearly align with the advantages of early foreign language learning.
Task Achievement
Include more specific and varied examples to support your main points. This can help strengthen your argument and illustrate your ideas more vividly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating more cohesive transitions between ideas and paragraphs. While your essay is logically structured, smoother transitions would enhance readability and flow.
Task Achievement
Acknowledged both sides of the argument, providing a balanced discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Successfully introduced and concluded your essay, clearly presenting your main topic and summarizing key points.
Task Achievement
Good effort to support your points with reasons, showing an understanding of the essay topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
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