Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at a primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages??

One of the highly controversial issues today relates to whether
to begin
picking up a
language
other than the mother
language
at elementary
school
or secondary
school
.
this
essay
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of learning a foreign
language
at a young age. On the one hand, the main advantage of learning a foreign
language
at a young age is a bright future waiting for them. In fact, learning a foreign
language
in primary
school
not only helps
children
gain a better understanding of culture and tradition but
also
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
better decisions for their future and
find
Correct subject-verb agreement
finds
show examples
employment opportunities over time.
Furthermore
,
children
at a young age (from 5 to 7 years old) learn much more easily than teenagers. Take the lack of mental engagement as an example; they help
children
to focus on their studies and learn another
language
without the slightest problem.
However
, it is important to recognize that there are
also
advantages associated with learning a foreign
language
. One of the main drawbacks is the potential confusion for
students
. Since
students
have to learn the basic structure of the mother tongue, it is difficult for them to support both languages, they usually experience
language
interference. Another disadvantage of learning a foreign
language
is the possibility of increasing mental conflict for
children
due to
not overcoming their fear. In fact, if
students
have to learn both their mother tongue and a foreign
language
at the same time, not only will they not learn another
language
, but they will
also
lose their motivation. In conclusion, by learning the
language
in primary
school
,
students
seize new opportunities
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and achieve greater success.
However
, there is always a chance of failure or negative outcomes,
such
as confusion and
mental
Correct article usage
the mental
show examples
involvement of kids.
Submitted by hongminh317 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Revise and clarify potential confusion in the 'advantages' section, ensuring that all points made clearly align with the advantages of early foreign language learning.
Task Achievement
Include more specific and varied examples to support your main points. This can help strengthen your argument and illustrate your ideas more vividly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating more cohesive transitions between ideas and paragraphs. While your essay is logically structured, smoother transitions would enhance readability and flow.
Task Achievement
Acknowledged both sides of the argument, providing a balanced discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Successfully introduced and concluded your essay, clearly presenting your main topic and summarizing key points.
Task Achievement
Good effort to support your points with reasons, showing an understanding of the essay topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: