It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Taking risks has become necessary in

people

's lives, not only for their professional but

also

for personal.

Although

some obvious negative effects, I personally think that they are outweighed by the advantages. On the one hand, there are two major disadvantages of

this

trend, the main drawback is

people

will easily lose their money, time and effort when they try taking the risky challenge. Most

people

underestimate the difficulty, so they just do things, follow their dreams by giving up their jobs, and spend more money on it without thinking about the results.

For example

, many youngsters invest their money in Bitcoin when they do not have enough knowledge, which leads them to financial problems or even serious debts.

Additionally

, when

people

take risks, their health will get into trouble if the results are not as they want like isolation, depression and anxiety.

On the other hand

although

some drawbacks are mentioned, the benefits are more specific than the negative effects.

Firstly

people

have a chance to gain more knowledge and relationships when they do some things that they usually do not. Myself is an example of

this

, I took a gap of around six months in Vietnam, and it gave me a chance to learn more about what I want to be, and I met a lot of

people

who were willing to give me advice.

Secondly

, it will help

people

improve their soft confidentiality which will help them a lot in the future and they will not be affair of challenges. Despite some consequences of

this

trend, I totally argue that it brings more beneficial than detrimental effects.

Submitted by huynhvinhthai236 on Mon Apr 15 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance coherence, consider varying your sentence structures and transitions for smoother flow between ideas.

Lexical Resource

Integrate a wider range of vocabulary to precisely express your ideas, avoiding over-repetition of certain words or phrases.

Task Achievement

For even stronger task achievement, ensuring a balanced discussion of both sides with more diversified examples can add depth to your argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Pay attention to minor grammatical inaccuracies and strive to refine your grammatical range and accuracy for a higher band score.

Task Achievement

Your essay effectively addresses the topic, presenting a clear position on the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks.

Coherence and Cohesion

You've structured your essay logically with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in reader understanding.

Task Achievement

Good use of examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument and makes it more convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there.

some people belive that public health that government duties but some people believe that is own health for everyone. Discuss both of views

many high level of positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than fifty percent female. compnies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. to what extent do you agree or disagree?