The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

#process #sugar #cane

The diagram depicts the way

sugar

is produced from

sugar

cane. It seems that the production of

sugar

requires a great deal of effort. It can be implied that the process of

sugar

production consists of 7 different stages, beginning with planting

sugar

canes on a farm and ending with cooling and drying of

sugar

Initially

sugar

cane is planted by farmers on a vast farm. When they grow for 12-18 months, farmers harvest them by a combine or manually. In the subsequent stage,

sugar

canes are passed through a crushing machine to turn into juice.

Then

, they should undergo the purifying process to lose their dust and dirt.

This

stage should be carried out by a limestone filter which is placed into a funnel shape tool.

Next,

this

liquid is put in an evaporator to lose its moisture and converted into syrup. After that, in the centrifuge stage,

sugar

crystals are separated from syrup.

Finally

sugar

crystals should be dried and cooled prior to distribution in the market.

Submitted by maryam.nutrition1988 on Mon Apr 15 2024

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

169 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sporting facilities, others however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required Discuss both these views and give your opinion.