The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
The diagram depicts the way
sugar
is produced from sugar
cane. It seems that the production of sugar
requires a great deal of effort.
It can be implied that the process of sugar
production consists of 7 different stages, beginning with planting sugar
canes on a farm and ending with cooling and drying of sugar
.
Initially
, sugar
cane is planted by farmers on a vast farm. When they grow for 12-18 months, farmers harvest them by a combine or manually. In the subsequent stage, sugar
canes are passed through a crushing machine to turn into juice. Then
, they should undergo the purifying process to lose their dust and dirt. This
stage should be carried out by a limestone filter which is placed into a funnel shape tool. Next,
this
liquid is put in an evaporator to lose its moisture and converted into syrup. After that, in the centrifuge stage, sugar
crystals are separated from syrup. Finally
, sugar
crystals should be dried and cooled prior to distribution in the market.Submitted by maryam.nutrition1988 on
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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