The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
The diagram depicts the way
sugar
is produced from Use synonyms
sugar
cane. It seems that the production of Use synonyms
sugar
requires a great deal of effort.
It can be implied that the process of Use synonyms
sugar
production consists of 7 different stages, beginning with planting Use synonyms
sugar
canes on a farm and ending with cooling and drying of Use synonyms
sugar
.
Use synonyms
Initially
, Linking Words
sugar
cane is planted by farmers on a vast farm. When they grow for 12-18 months, farmers harvest them by a combine or manually. In the subsequent stage, Use synonyms
sugar
canes are passed through a crushing machine to turn into juice. Use synonyms
Then
, they should undergo the purifying process to lose their dust and dirt. Linking Words
This
stage should be carried out by a limestone filter which is placed into a funnel shape tool. Linking Words
Next,
Linking Words
this
liquid is put in an evaporator to lose its moisture and converted into syrup. After that, in the centrifuge stage, Linking Words
sugar
crystals are separated from syrup. Use synonyms
Finally
, Linking Words
sugar
crystals should be dried and cooled prior to distribution in the market.Use synonyms
Submitted by maryam.nutrition1988 on
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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