IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The charts below shot the average number of tourists visiting Fairmont Island each season ant hte main advantages and disadvantages of the island according to a tourist survey. Summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#shot #tourists #fairmont #island #season #ant #hte #tourist #survey #summerize #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph presents the average
number
Use synonyms
 of visitors that came
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 an
island
Use synonyms
 named Fairmont in each period of the year, and the pie graphs show the results of a survey about the primary benefits and drawbacks of the location.
Overall
Linking Words
, people expressed that the main cons are the general prices for living, and activities that bring joy,
while
Linking Words
 the biggest pros are the individuals and the view. The destination received its higher demand in
summer
Add an article
the summer
show examples
 period and the least came to visit the
island
Use synonyms
 in cold weather
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
. Almost half of the humans said that the major disadvantage is
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
costs
Fix the agreement mistake
cost
show examples
 of living
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
island
Use synonyms
, and about
third
Add an article
a third
show examples
 of them stated it is the lack of entertainment they had. Only a small fragment disliked the food they consumed and
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
show examples
 claimed the negative side is weather.
In contrast
Linking Words
, 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 liked the structure they stayed and almost that
number
Use synonyms
 of people
also
Linking Words
 liked the scenery of the place. Just above 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 both enjoyed the cultural pattern and the individuals they saw.
Highest
Add an article
The highest
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of tourists (exactly 600
thousand
Use synonyms
 visitors) came
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
island
Use synonyms
 in summer, and the nearest
number
Use synonyms
 was in March, April and May, with a hundred
thousand
Use synonyms
 in total. Around half of a
thousand
Use synonyms
 went to the destination in
fall
Correct article usage
the fall
show examples
 months and only a small amount visited the Fairmont
Island
Use synonyms
 in winter, with around 10
thousand
Use synonyms
.
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language use
Try to be more precise in your language to improve clarity and reduce ambiguity. For example, instead of 'humans' use 'respondents' or 'participants'.
detail accuracy
Integrate quantitative data more accurately when describing charts. Exact figures enhance the quality of your summary.
structure
While your overview captures the main trends and differences, adding a brief conclusion to synthesize your findings could strengthen your response.
consistency
Ensure consistency in units and terms throughout your essay to aid comprehension. For instance, clarify whether visitor numbers are in thousands or actual figures.
understanding
You effectively summarized the main features of the charts, capturing the essence of both the tourist numbers and survey results.
comparison
You made a good attempt to compare data across different seasons and survey results, which is crucial for a task of this nature.
introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the scene for what the reader can expect from your summary, making it easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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