Many parents these days choose to send their children studying abroad. What are the causes? Is it a positive or negative development?

#parents #children #development

Nowdays

Correct the word

Nowadays

show examples

, more and more

students

are sent to

study

abroad by their parents. Some people treat that as a positive trend,

while

others don't. In my view, there are several understandable reasons why parents want that for their children to

study

Change preposition

show examples

foreigh

Correct your spelling

foreign

university or college. On the one hand, the advantages of studying abroad can help

students

broadens

Change the verb

broaden

show examples

their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

. It can help them to develop new

thoughs

Correct your spelling

thoughts

thought

about how they can think about things and they can be open minds. Most important is that

Correct pronoun usage

it hepls

show examples

hepls

Correct your spelling

helps

students

become independent without their parents. That

approves

Verb problem

encourages

show examples

them to learn how to live by

yourself

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

without help to learn how to cope in difficult situations. It

also

helps

students

to become familiar with another culture. They have the opportunity to see the world differently than they have learned

Rephrase

apply

show examples

. It helps them to see things from a different angle.

On the other hand

, there are

also

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

disadvantages to

study

Change the verb form

studying

show examples

abroad. First of all, the extra cost they have to deal with, because

its

Correct your spelling

it's

show examples

far more expensive to

study

in a

foreing

Correct your spelling

foreign

country.

Its

Correct your spelling

It's

show examples

also

difficult to

abjust

Correct your spelling

adjust

to a new lifestyle so the

students

get homesick because of that. Until

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

found

Wrong verb form

find

show examples

other

students

to help them or new friends

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they are in the same situation, they are alone.

However

, if

students

wants

Change the verb form

want

show examples

to learn in

a new situations

Correct the article-noun agreement

new situations

a new situation

show examples

they have to try to

study

abroad, even if

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

difficult at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

first time.

This

is how you can

became

Change the verb form

become

show examples

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

strong and

indepentend

Correct your spelling

independent

person.

Submitted by rthomaidou on Mon Apr 15 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language accuracy

Ensure to proofread your essay to correct minor spelling and grammatical errors to enhance readability.

Supporting arguments

You might also want to include more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider using a wider range of linking phrases to improve the flow of your essay from one idea to another.

Content depth

Excellent job in detailing both the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, showing a balanced perspective.

Intro/Conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear, succinctly presenting your viewpoint and summarizing the main ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Some people believe that it is a good idea to continue to work at their old age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, more and more people remain working at their old age. I completly agree. In this essay, I will argue that seniors still can keep working as long as their health allows.
6.5
band
The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences. Only governments actions can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is undeniable that low-quality house construction in big cities can lead to negative outcomes related to people’s lives. I personally believe that authorities are the only organizations that can address this issue.
7.5
band
The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peae. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
Almost 8 decades ago, the world saw how powerful and destructive nuclear energy could be during the Second World War. Since then, significant efforts have been made to reroute the devastating nature of nuclear weapons to produce affordable and clean energy for civilization. I agree that the advantages of atomic power can help us much more than the possible threats it bears because it is one of the most potential sources of renewable energy and at the same time it does not have any impact on global warming.
4.5
band
Meat Production requires relatively more lands than crop production. Some people think as land is becoming scare, the world’s meat consumption should be reduced. What measures could be taken to reduce world’s meat consumption? What kind of problem such measures caused?
In modern society, many folks were able to eat different types of food by growing economically. It is a common belief some people argue that we should curtail the meat industry which can cause the land to be lacking due to raising domestic animals more than growing several crops. I will discuss in this essay that there are some methods to solve this problem and what is caused by these measures.
6
band
Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important the history. Discuss both those views and give your own opinion.
It is considered by someone that learning and studying history lessons in the official education era, is crucially vital for students, while they are others who think that in the current modern life that is sometimes called the technology and internet century, other study fields such as science and technology should be considered as first priority to be taught in educational spheres. There are rational arguments on both sides of this contentious topic which will be discussed in detail, followed by my own take on the matter.

Many parents these days choose to send their children studying abroad. What are the causes? Is it a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is a good idea to continue to work at their old age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences. Only governments actions can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Meat Production requires relatively more lands than crop production. Some people think as land is becoming scare, the world’s meat consumption should be reduced. What measures could be taken to reduce world’s meat consumption? What kind of problem such measures caused?

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important the history. Discuss both those views and give your own opinion.