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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

“Rapid advances in technology will make the world of the future a more dangerous place” Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons.

#“rapid #advances #technology #world #future #place”
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In the rapidly developing world, we tend to utilize high-
technology
 in our daily lives which
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
 21- century
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
called the " century of technological progress".
Furthermore
,
technology
 is gaining our life. Nowadays, I am not mistaken when I say that the modern technologies that are currently being produced have taken over a part of our lives. No doubt, rapid advances in
technology
 have the potential to both enhance and endanger the world of the future. Here's a balanced perspective on the matter.
Technology
 has the potential to make processes more efficient, leading to increased productivity and economic growth. Advancements in
technology
 have the potential to revolutionize healthcare, leading to better treatment options and improved quality of life.
Technology
 can connect people across the globe, fostering collaboration and understanding. As
technology
 advances, the risk of cyber-attacks and data breaches
also
 increases, potentially leading to significant disruptions and loss of sensitive information. Automation and artificial intelligence may lead to job displacement, potentially causing social and economic challenges. The rapid advancement of
technology
 raises important ethical and privacy concerns, particularly in fields
such
 as biotechnology and surveillance. In conclusion,
while
 rapid advances in
technology
 offer numerous benefits, they
also
 present significant challenges and potential dangers. It's essential for society to carefully navigate these advancements, prioritizing ethical considerations, cybersecurity, and the equitable distribution of the benefits of technological progress to ensure a safer and more secure future.
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specificity
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, providing clear examples and explanations to support your points. Try to incorporate more specific examples to vividly illustrate your arguments.
cohesion
Pay attention to your essay's structure, aiming for a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. Use transitional phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
vocabulary
Use a range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and demonstrate linguistic range. This can also help make your arguments more compelling and nuanced.
accuracy
Revise your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos to improve clarity and professionalism. Consistent accuracy in grammar can significantly enhance the overall quality of your writing.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, touching upon the importance and omnipresence of technology in the modern world.
Balanced Argument
You presented a balanced perspective, acknowledging both the benefits and potential dangers of rapid technological advancements. This approach strengthens your argument.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, reinforcing the need for careful navigation of technological advancements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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