Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is a school of thought obtaining an
education
from a
university
could expand career prospects
while
others opine that a
university
education
probably provides benefits for
both
people
and
society
. From my perspective, I advocate the idea that a
university
education
is helpful for
both
society
and
individuals
.
This
essay will shed light on
both
statements. On one hand,
people
can get better occupations
due to
a
university
education
for the following reasons.
First,
people
are educated with professional and technical knowledge and skills to contribute their personal value.
Besides
, they can discover their unique abilities and develop them from the instruction and help in
university
by professors.
Also
,
people
leverage those abilities and knowledge to apply to appropriate jobs or good positions.
Moreover
,
individuals
often build their networking from study time in
university
which is significantly helpful for their future so they are easy to access with various job opportunities.
On the other hand
,
education
from
university
is
also
useful for
society
as well as
individuals
. Obviously,
people
who have a
university
education
foundation and live in one
society
can create a full well-being including behaviour, thinking and knowledge for each other. So they can create healthy relationships,
also
their mental health
as well as
physical health can avoid pressure or diseases. Educated
individuals
probably launch a knowledgeable and modern
society
and
then
develop it successfully.
In addition
, the detrimental factors can be reduced and disappear
such
as crimes. With all of the aforementioned theses and explanations, the conclusion is self-evident. I believe that
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
is not only crucial for
people
, it is
also
paramount for
both
society
and
individuals
.
Submitted by lethithut123 on

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Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. Detailed examples can help to strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all parts of the paragraph closely relate to this idea. This can improve the overall cohesion and coherence of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Review the use of complex sentence structures and aim to vary your sentence length and structure more. This can enhance the readability of your essay.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively addresses both views presented in the topic, as well as your own opinion, demonstrating a well-rounded understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively bookending your essay and reinforcing your main argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have logically structured your essay with a clear progression of ideas.
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