Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #aim #university #education #graduates #jobs #individuals #society

There is a school of thought obtaining an

education

from a

university

could expand career prospects

while

others opine that a

university

education

probably provides benefits for

both

people

and

society

. From my perspective, I advocate the idea that a

university

education

is helpful for

both

society

and

individuals

This

essay will shed light on

both

statements. On one hand,

people

can get better occupations

due to

university

education

for the following reasons.

First,

people

are educated with professional and technical knowledge and skills to contribute their personal value.

Besides

, they can discover their unique abilities and develop them from the instruction and help in

university

by professors.

Also

people

leverage those abilities and knowledge to apply to appropriate jobs or good positions.

Moreover

individuals

often build their networking from study time in

university

which is significantly helpful for their future so they are easy to access with various job opportunities.

On the other hand

education

from

university

also

useful for

society

as well as

individuals

. Obviously,

people

who have a

university

education

foundation and live in one

society

can create a full well-being including behaviour, thinking and knowledge for each other. So they can create healthy relationships,

also

their mental health

as well as

physical health can avoid pressure or diseases. Educated

individuals

probably launch a knowledgeable and modern

society

and

then

develop it successfully.

In addition

, the detrimental factors can be reduced and disappear

such

as crimes. With all of the aforementioned theses and explanations, the conclusion is self-evident. I believe that

university

Correct article usage

a university

show examples

education

is not only crucial for

people

, it is

also

paramount for

both

society

and

individuals

Submitted by lethithut123 on Mon Apr 15 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. Detailed examples can help to strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all parts of the paragraph closely relate to this idea. This can improve the overall cohesion and coherence of your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Review the use of complex sentence structures and aim to vary your sentence length and structure more. This can enhance the readability of your essay.

Task Achievement

The essay effectively addresses both views presented in the topic, as well as your own opinion, demonstrating a well-rounded understanding.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively bookending your essay and reinforcing your main argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have logically structured your essay with a clear progression of ideas.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driveless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driveless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that advertising is extremely succesfull at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that there should b fixed punishments for each type of crome. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause. What can be done about this.

Even though doctors all over the world would agree that fast food is bad for people’s health, more and more people are eating it. Why are more people eating fast food? What can be done about this problem?