IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In contemporary times, a myriad of
people
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 living in villages have emigrated to urban
areas
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.
Therefore
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, the population of urban
areas
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 has dramatically declined over the period. In my opinion,
this
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 has a positive impact contributing to
education
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, facilities, and perspectives for individuals. On the one side, nowadays governments have been investing in the
education
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 system in order to provide the population same level.
Therefore
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, well-equipped universities are located in urban
areas
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 in countries. Many
people
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 inhabiting an urban area might benefit from good
education
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 from them by emigrating to developed cities.
For example
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, it is obvious that a person living in a village is unlikely to take a
bachelor
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bachelor's
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 degree, yet beneficial opportunities would be provided for a person by moving to another region.
On the other hand
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, plenty of villagers want to
emigrate
Correct your spelling
migrate
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 to urban
areas
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due to
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 their occupation opportunities.
In other words
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, a multitude of job places, consisting of factories, and supermarkets use technological devices in their manufacturing process.
Thus
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, a vast majority of
people
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 living in a place
that is
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 remote from the city
center
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centre
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 prefer to apply for those chances so as to earn more cash. Despite compelling adaptation processes in places, including technological equipment, villagers struggle with
this
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 challenge. Another reason is the infrastructure and systems for residents living in the city
center
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centre
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.
That is
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 to say, well-developed regions could provide facilities, involving hospitals, parking
areas
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, and schools for locals.
As a result
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, these cities may lead to migration for farmers since in case of emergencies, rural
people
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 are unlikely to easily go to a hospital.
Hence
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, nowadays the proportion of moving to the city
center
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centre
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 from rural
areas
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 has skyrocketed. In conclusion,
although
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 emigration to cities seems like a disaster for some
people
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, it has brought about a multitude of beneficial opportunities,
such
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 as hospitals,
education
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 and, easily reaching technology for residents.

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Examples
Expand on the specific examples you provide to further illustrate your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more compelling.
Accuracy
Remember to proofread your essay for any small inaccuracies or inconsistencies in your argument. Maintaining clarity throughout your essay will enhance its overall quality.
Counterarguments
Consider introducing counterarguments to add depth to your essay. Acknowledging and refuting opposing viewpoints can make your argument more robust.
Task Response
You have effectively addressed the task by discussing both the reasons for and impacts of rural to urban migration.
Structure
Your essay’s logical structure is commendable. You have a clear introduction, body paragraphs that support your main points, and a conclusion that wraps up your argument nicely.
Use of Examples
Your use of examples, even if they could be expanded upon, provides concrete support for your arguments and aids in the reader's understanding of your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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