In many countries, the crime level is increasing, and crimes are becoming more violent. What is the reason and what can be done about it?

#countries #crime #level #crimes #reason

It is irrefutable that the crime rate has been increasing at an alarming rate . An extremely harsh problem nowadays many countries are facing is

to deal

Change the verb form

dealing

show examples

with the crime rate increasing astonishingly and becoming more severe. In my view, there are several probable reasons for

this

issue

such

as the population

booming

Replace the word

boom

show examples

, the lack of education and financial problems . In the succeeding monograph, I intend to delve into the setbacks

as well as

proffer remedies to curb

this

menace.

Submitted by shyamal017 on Mon Apr 15 2024

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Essay Development

Your introduction is strong, setting a clear stage for the discussion. Consider further developing your essay by expanding on the reasons for the rise in crime rates and by offering more detailed solutions. This will strengthen your argument and support a higher score in task achievement.

Structuring

For coherence and cohesion, you've established a logical structure and your opening is promising. To improve, pay attention to the flow between paragraphs. Using connecting words or phrases can help create a smoother transition, enhancing the understanding of your argument.

Example Usage

Including specific examples and case studies can significantly support your main points. This approach not only increases your essay's relevance but also showcases your ability to apply your understanding to real-world scenarios, which is essential for higher scores in task achievement.

Introduction

Your essay has a clear introduction that effectively outlines the essay topic and your stance, making it easy to follow.

Content Knowledge

You have identified key reasons for the increase in crime, which demonstrates a good grasp of the issue at hand.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

81 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, the crime level is increasing, and crimes are becoming more violent. What is the reason and what can be done about it?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this messages?

Have you recently bought a mobile phone? Write a review about the phone explaining why you bought it, how easy it is to use and if you would recommend it to others.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that young people bring more profit to the company. Others says that older people actually bring more profits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

With the widespread use of the internet , more people choose to work from home . Do the advantages of this trends oughtweigh the disadvantage?