It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. dinosaur, dodo...) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#process #species #e #g #dinosaur #dodo #reason #people

Regardless of the era, animal species

frequenlty

Correct your spelling

frequently

suffer from extinction, and

humans

Change the noun form

human

show examples

beings are not the exception. Some believe that they need to prepare or prevent to happen

this

thread. I personally argue that they do not need so much preparation for that.

Firstly

acient

Correct your spelling

ancient

species,

such

dinosaur

Fix the agreement mistake

dinosaurs

show examples

, had extincted more than ten thousand years before mainly because of their ability to adapt to

enviornments

Correct your spelling

environments

. They had no knowledge to create something to prevent extremely cold or hot situations since they easily

became

Verb problem

apply

show examples

die when natural disasters

happpened

Verb problem

apply

show examples

eruption

Fix the agreement mistake

eruptions

show examples

However

people

can not only construct

shelter

Add an article

a shelter

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

disaster but

also

predict what will happen in the

nearly

Change the word

near

show examples

future.

Thus

, the probability of extinction is reduced and they hardly diminish in the world, and I completely agree with

this

On the other hand

, since predicting the future is super difficult,

people

may not be able to know that a disaster the

earch

Correct your spelling

earth

has never experienced

occur

Wrong verb form

occurred

show examples

, which leads

people

extinct

Replace the word

extinction

show examples

For instance

, the biggest earthquake in Japanese history caused

to create

Verb problem

apply

show examples

a giant tsunami, which

make

Verb problem

caused

show examples

more than five

thousands

Fix the agreement mistake

thousand

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

civilians

die

Fix the infinitive

to die

show examples

. Though they prepared

Change preposition

for to

show examples

tsunami by building huge walls around beaches, the

thunami

Correct your spelling

tsunami

came over the walls and crushed numerous houses and

ficilities

Correct your spelling

facilities

Thus

, the power of prediction by

people

is not enough at

this

moment since they need to improve it. In conclusion,

while

there

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the certain

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

why

humans

Change the noun form

human

show examples

beings have to prepare

extinction

Change preposition

for extinction

show examples

, the proportion is not too huge for them because of their knowledge and technology.

Thus

, they should not spend too much time

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

prevention.

Submitted by ryoga17.0325 on Tue Apr 16 2024

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Introduction & Conclusion

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Supported Main Points

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Clear & Comprehensive Ideas

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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