Although many people value public parks, this space could be better used for the other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and build economics. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Most
pepole
appreciate Correct your spelling
people
city
parks
and pulic
gardens. Yet Correct your spelling
public
due to
the inrease
growth of the Correct your spelling
increase
increased
population
some think Add a comma
population,
this
can be utilized as accommodational buildings or in the development of busnisess
and economy. in my opinion, I Correct your spelling
business
belive
that public Correct your spelling
believe
parks
are essential
part of Add an article
an essential
community
.
Add an article
the community
a community
While
many people presume that it is better to have residential apartments
buildings in Fix the agreement mistake
apartment
place
of public parks
this
might have bad
influence on preexisting residents’ well-being, as these Correct article usage
a bad
parks
are considered the only place
where greenery Fix the agreement mistake
places
to absorb
carbon dioxide and Change the verb form
absorbs
converting
it to oxygen, Wrong verb form
converts
for example
, cities like New York where resident have small flats with no back yards
a Change the verb form
yard
place
of greenery like central
park that provides Add an article
a central
the central
a
fresh oxygen to all of the Remove the article
apply
city
residents.
Furthermore
, parks
provided
tremendous benefits for all Wrong verb form
provide
its
visitors playgrounds are an excellent Correct pronoun usage
their
place
in improving
children’s immunity Change preposition
to improve
where
Correct word choice
and where
children
social life might potentially progress Change noun form
children's
such
as play dates, adults
using walking and cycling Correct word choice
and adults
path
allowing people to do exercises.
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
In
the other hand, housing issues can be solved by simply constructing residential buildings in the suburbs and outskirts of the Change preposition
On
city
allowing more employment chances for construction workers and for the real-estate
market to flourish. Correct your spelling
real estate
for instance
, the development of Manhattan city
and its increase in size by width Capitalize word
City
instead
of the very crowded city
limited by limited space.
In conclusion, I believe that the development of a city
should not be by destroying a public park, other solutions could be more favorable
providing a better outcome for new and old residents by using the outskirts of the Change the spelling
favourable
city
.Submitted by fatimahalsalman215 on
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Grammar & Spelling
Consider revising the essay for minor spelling and grammar errors to enhance clarity and professionalism.
Vocabulary
Use a wider range of vocabulary to clearly express your ideas and to make your arguments more persuasive.
Examples
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Transitions
Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay and make your argumentation stronger.
Task Response
Your essay successfully addresses the prompt, providing a clear stance and elaboration on why parks are valuable.
Structure
You effectively structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that reinforce your main points.
Example Use
Good use of specific examples, particularly mentioning New York and the function of Central Park, to support your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.