The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
The bar chart provides information about the proportion of Australians who regularly
engage
Wrong verb form
engaged
show examples
in exercise across different
age
groups and genders in 2010. "
It is clear that
men
aged 15-24 engaged in the most physical activity,
while
women
aged 45-54 were the most active among all
age
groups.
Additionally
, the lowest participation was observed in
women
over 60 and
men
aged 35-44." Looking at the information in more detail for
women
, those aged 45-54 constituted 53.3% and were the most active among all
age
distributions.
On the other hand
, the chart shows that
men
aged 15-24 had the highest participation rate at 52.8%. In terms of the elderly,
men
and
women
exhibited similar proportions; the former constituted 46.7%
while
the latter accounted for 47.1%. It can be seen that
men
in the 25-44
age
group had the lowest participation rate at 39.5%, which is 12% lower than that of
women
in the same
age
group.
Submitted by zora840810 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, men, women with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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