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Band 4.5

Some people feel that school should teach children how to be good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What skills people need to be a good parent?

#people #school #children #parent #skills
I largely agree,because teaching
children
 how to be good
parents
 in
school
Add an article
a school
show examples
 can let the
children
 know more
skills
,
such
 as effective communication,
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
, handling stress, building family values, and developing love and empathy.These
skills
 not only allow
children
 to learn to communicate with others, improve interpersonal relationships, and make more friends, but they
also
 have problem-solving and stress-relieving
skills
, which can make their psychological development better and reduce the chance of depression and anxiety. They
also
 help
children
 when they grow up,
such
 as learning how to be loving, responsible, respectful and supportive
parents
 in the future. Helping them feel more confident and competent in their future parenting roles. I think a good parent should have patience,communication
skills
,and love.
First,
let's talk about patience, During the parenting process,
children
 may have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
many behaviors and emotions.But
parents
 are the models for their
children
 to imitate,so
parents
 need to be patient to understand and deal with it, and not get mad or give up easily.
This
 can prevent
children
to follow
Change preposition
from following
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor behaviours and
also
 can calm down their
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
.
Secondly
,good communication can help
parents
 and
children
 establish a good relationship and make
children
 feel respected and understood. Third,love is the most important element in the parenting process. It lets
children
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
feel warm and supported by the family and helps them grow healthily.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Task Response
Continue working on expanding your ideas with more detailed examples to further enrich your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout your paragraphs. Using a variety of linking words can help enhance the flow of your essay.
Task Response
You have provided a clear opinion and relevant skills that people need to be good parents, which shows good understanding of the essay topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay, including paragraphs focusing on different aspects of parenting skills, contributes positively to its coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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