IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think schools should teach students to form good behavior in addition to providing normal education. Do you agree or disagree?

The majority of people believe that schools should teach the
pupils
Use synonyms
 good
quality
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 performance to teach general education. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 essay and I will discuss it. On the one hand, Tuesdays increase general education and it will be provided with good
quality
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 in the
school
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.
Therefore
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,
pupils
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 can learn their
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and attitude from them. it is more and more increasing day by day.
As a result
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,
pupils
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 come out of
school
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 with a good attitude person.
For example
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, someone comes form out to the
school
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 who is a respectable person. Who respect each other and who respect elders. Like my young brother, he has more respect for our
parents
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. He helps them and is obedient to his
parents
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. it takes for the
school
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.
Moreover
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, the
school
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 providing
yo
Correct your spelling
you
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 with the
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of
children
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 coaches was a good role model. They are taught not only to study the taught them good-
quality
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 like kind speaking, a good attitude, and how to keep a good appearance if they go for some occupation or some occasions.
For example
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, the teacher taught them someone who goes to a job interview how they are wearing clothes and how they
are faces
Wrong verb form
face
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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speak.
As a consequence
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, after-
school
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pupils
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 come out with good
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 people.
On the other hand
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, these days
parents
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 have a very busy lifestyle.
therefore
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 they don't Have a spend time with their
children
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. They do not give to good
quality
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 their child.if
children
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 learn to the good qualities their family. They
allowing
Wrong verb form
allow
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 them to be siblings or
parents
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. It is not enough and they should be taught they are
children
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 good
behavior
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. So
that is
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 why, teachers should teach good
quality
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 in the
school
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. In conclusion, these days schools increasingly teaching
pupils
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 good
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.it is very good nowadays because the parent does not have to spend time teaching about it.
Therefore
Linking Words
.
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 should teach more and more good
quality
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
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. It comes from
out
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
 good person.

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Structure
Work on structuring your essay in a more organized manner. Clearly separate your paragraphs to cover different points systematically.
Grammar & Clarity
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve phrasing for clarity.
Sentence Variation
Use a variety of sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and fluid.
Relevance & Support
Clarify the link between your examples and the points they are supposed to support. Ensure each example directly substantiates the point made.
Task Response
You've adequately addressed the prompt by providing a clear stance on the topic.
Effective Examples
Use of specific examples, such as the reference to your younger brother, which makes your argument more tangible.
Linking Ideas
You've attempted to connect ideas and provide reasons for your opinions, which is crucial for a coherent argument.
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