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Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#money #time
Having more money allows for greater financial security, facilitating access to better healthcare, education, and lifestyle. It enables individuals to support their families, save for the future, and invest in personal and professional development.
On the other hand
, it often results in longer working hours, increased stress, and less
time
 for personal interests and family. Having more free
time
 promotes a better work-life balance, enabling individuals to pursue hobbies, spend quality
time
 with family and friends, and take care of their physical and mental health. It encourages a simpler lifestyle focused on experiences rather than material possessions.
However
, it may come with financial constraints, limiting access to luxury items, travel, and sometimes even basic necessities. In conclusion,
while
 financial stability is crucial, achieving a balance between earning money and having free
time
 is essential for
overall
 well-being. Individuals should strive to find a middle ground that allows them to enjoy the benefits of both worlds without sacrificing their health, relationships, or personal growth.
Submitted by napatnp18065322 on

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Language Use
Variety in sentence structure and vocabulary can further enhance the quality of your essay.
Content Depth
Consider developing your examples further to clearly illustrate your points.
Task Response
You've effectively discussed both views and provided a clear statement of your own opinion.
Essay Structure
You've structured your essay well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion.
Coherence
You've made good use of linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
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