Nowadays, it seems that different generations within the family spend less time doing activities together. Why is that? Is this a positive or negative development?
It is profound to see that
generations
these days are less interested in performing activities with their family members
. I think,
that condition happens because there is an individual difference regarding personal preferences to spend their Remove the comma
apply
time
, and therefore
, should be seen as a negative development since can decrease closeness among each family member.
The primary reason behind this
condition is due to
the different interests. Even though family members
live under the same roof, it is inevitable that each of them have
different preferences to spend their Change the verb form
has
time
. Consider a five member
family that Add a hyphen
five-member
have
different styles to fill their leisure Correct subject-verb agreement
has
time
. One of them may like to read a book while
others tend to play mobile
Change preposition
on mobile
phone
or scroll their social media. From that situation, it can be seen Fix the agreement mistake
phones
that is
not plausible to adjoint them in
a group activity since they already enjoy Change preposition
to
to do
their own things or Change the verb form
doing
develop
their own habits.
Unfortunately, that situation can lower the level of closeness among each member. Imagine if the whole family rarely Wrong verb form
developing
involve
in doing activities together. Wrong verb form
involved
Subsequently
, they may ended
up Change the verb form
end
Add a missing verb
having difficult
difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
to interact
with other family Change the verb form
interacting
members
and
can weaken their level of intimacy Correct word choice
which
among
each other. Change preposition
with
This
phenomenon is still evident when people go back to their hometown
during Eid-Al Fitr. Most of them, especially Fix the agreement mistake
hometowns
millennial
and z Fix the agreement mistake
millennials
generations
prefer to spend their free time
to play with mobile games rather than hang
out with their relatives, resulting in the difficulty Wrong verb form
hanging
to blend
themselves with other Change preposition
of blending
members
if they have to engage in several occasions.
In conclusion, some generations
are having
less Wrong verb form
have
time
to engage in family activities in
present times because they already possess different interests Change preposition
at
with
previous Change preposition
from
generations
, and unfortunately, it
can lower the level of closeness among them.Correct pronoun usage
this
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coherence cohesion
Consider diversifying sentence structures to enhance your writing's complexity.
task achievement
Adding more specific, real-life examples could strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Exploring both positive and negative aspects more deeply could provide a more balanced view on the development mentioned.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction, development, and conclusion, maintaining a good logical flow throughout.
task achievement
You effectively address the task, presenting clear arguments supported by relevant explanations.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite